My Only You – Chapter 2

POSTED BY Frdp ⋅ April 10, 2010 ⋅ MGA PUNA

MAKALIPAS ang ilang araw mula noong may nakaaway siya ay tuluyan na siyang hindi pinansin ni Dean. Nalaman nalang niya kay Sam kung bakit inaway siya no’ng babae dahil ex-girlfriend ito ng kuya niya. Galit ba si Dean sa kanya? Ay ewan! Pinagtanggol lang naman niya ang kanyang sarili sa bruhang ex nito.

Hindi na niya ito inisip sapagka’t naging abala siya sa paparating na pre-midterm exam at abala rin siyang nagtatry-out ng volleyball sa engineering team. Natanggap agad siya sa team dahil sa matangkad nga siya at magaling siya pagdating sa larong ito. Hilig na niyang maglaro ng volleyball simula noong bata pa siya. Naging varsity player pa nga siya noong highschool pero hindi na siya nag-apply bilang varsity player ngayon sa college.

Isang hapon ay nasa library sila ni Sam upang magreview ng kanilang mga exams.

“Hay naku Dan ha!” wika sa kanya ni Sam. “Magtatampo nako sayo dahil parati kang busy. Wala ka nang time sa ‘kin. ‘Di mo na nga ‘ko sinasamahan sa mga meetings natin eh. Nagtatampo na rin ang mga kuya natin dahil hindi kana sumasaglit sa tambayan natin” mahaba-habang litanya sa kanya ni Sam na parang nagtatampo nitong sabi.

‘Kuya’ ang tawag nila sa mga kabarkadang lalaki dahil mas matatanda ang mga itong nang apat na taon. Ang tinutukoy nitong barkada ay ‘yong mga barkada nang kuya nito. Naging close niya ang mga ito dahil na rin ni Sam.

“Sorry na Sam” sabi niya na may lambing. “Sige, babawi ako sa inyo, promise. Busy lang talaga ako ngayon kasi pre-midterm na natin at palagi lang kaming nagpapraktis para sa intrams.” Nakangiti na siya.

“Naku! sabi mo ‘yan ha” paniniyak nito. “By the way, this coming Saturday ay birthday na ni kuya Jonas” pag-iiba nito. Tukoy nito sa isa sa mga barkada nila. “Magtatampo na talaga ‘yon kapag hindi ka dadalo” dagdag pa nito.

“Shoot! Wala na naman akong praktis ngayong Saturday at wala na tayong exam” sabi niya. “Kaso wala akong kotse ngayon eh. Hiniram ni kuya kasi sira ‘yung sa kanya, sa Linggo pa makukuha” paliwanag niya.

“Susunduin nalang kita sa bahay niyo Sam” sabad naman ni Sherwin sa kanila na hindi nila namalayan ang pagdating nito.

“Naku, ba’t ba palagi ka nalang sumasabad at nanggugulat?” Natatawang biro niya.

“O hayan! Wala ka ng problema Dan” tudyo ni Sam sa kanya. “Mabuti nalang at dumating ka” nakangiti nitong sabi. Bumaling naman ito okay Sherwin.

“Oo nga, tamang-tama ang timing mo” segunda naman niya. “At may driver na ko.”

“Eh kung sinagot mo kasi ako ay araw-araw may magsusundo sa’yo” biro naman ni Sherwin.

“Eh hindi ka nga niya gusto. Napakaplayboy mo kasi, lahat nalang yata ay pinapatulan mo.” sabad naman ni Sam. Tumawa sila dahil nakita nila ang reaksyon ni Sherwin na parang nasasaktan.

“Ouch! Grabe ka naman Sam, baka maniwala sa ‘yo si Dan. ‘Wag mo nga siyang i-brainwash. Siguro Nagseselos ka ‘noh?” ganti naman nito.

“Teka pakurot nga sa mukha mo” sabi nito at kinurot nga nito ang pisngi ni Sherwin. “Ang kapal talaga!” inis na sabi ni Sam.

Ssssshh! sita sa kanila ng librarian dahil napalakas ang kanilang tawanan.

SABADO NANG UMAGA.

Good mood siya ng magising dahil natapos din ang exams nila. Dali dali siyang naligo at pagkatapos ay tumawag siya kay Sam dahil magpapasama siya para mamili ng ipanreregalo niya kay Jonas. Sumang-ayon naman ito dahil bibili rin daw ito ng ipanreregalo. Susunduin nalang siya nito dahil nga wala pa siyang kotse.

Nagpunta sila sa Power Plant sa Makati dahil malapit lang ito sa kanilang condo unit ng kuya niya. Nang makarating sila sa mall ay naglilibot muna sila bago bumili ng ireregalo nila. Habang naglalakad ay may nakita silang isang boutique ng mga damit at pumasok sila.

“Dan, isukat mo nga ‘to.” Inilahad ni Sam sa kanya ang isang seksing damit para sukatin daw niya.

“Huh?” nagulat siya pero kinuha na rin niya ito. “Bakit naman? ‘Kaw nalang kaya. Di ‘to bagay sa ‘kin eh at saka parang makikita pa yata ang cleavage ko nito.”

“H’wag ka nang magreklamo d’yan kasi kung babagay sa’yo iyan ay tiyak na babagay din sa ‘kin. Kaw ha napakaconservative mo, batukan kita d’yan eh” nangingiti nitong sabi. Wala na siyang nagawa dahil tinulak na siya nito sa fitting room. “Lumabas ka pagkatapos para makita ko.”

Matapos itong suutin ay lumabas na siya ng fitting room. Gaya ng inaasahan niya ay nagulat rin ito pagkakita sa kanya.

“Oh my, mas maganda ka pala ‘pag nabihisan Dan.” Natatawa siya sa sinabi ng kaibigan. “Aba! Babae pala ‘tong kaibigan ko. Parang natotomboy na ‘ko sa ‘yo ah” biro nito pero bakas ang paghanga sa kanya. Hinampas niya ito sabay tawa.

“Hoy bestfriend, tumigil ka nga, mapagkamalan pa tayo. Praning ka talaga. Babae naman talaga ako, kaso hindi lang ako nagsusuot na mga ito” natatawa niyang sabi. “Teka muna at magpapalit na ‘ko.”

“Ay sus nahiya pa. Manang talaga. Sige na, bilisan mo d’yan at pupunta pa tayo sa salon” wika nito.

“Anong gagawin natin doon? ” tanong niya.

“Alangan namang matutulog tayo ro’n, di ba? Eh di siyempre magpapaganda ng bonggang-bongga. ” natatawang sagot naman nito.

Binili ni Sam ang damit na sinukat niya at pagkatapos ay pumunta na sila sa isang sikat na salon. Napilit siya ni Sam na magpaayos ng buhok kasi raw parati siyang nakaponytail. May sinabi ito sa stylist kung ano ang babagay sa kanya. At ‘yon nga dalawa silang nagpaayos ng buhok. Mas naunang natapos si Sam dahil pinahot oil lang ito. Ang sa kanya naman ay casual long hairstyle.

Pagkatapos niyang makita ang resulta sa ginawa sa kanyang buhok ay napamaang siya. Parang hindi siya ang nasa salamin. Parang isang dyosa. Ang kanyang buhok ay parang kay Taylor Swift kaso hindi ito blonde.

Nasa parking lot na sila pagkatapos nila sa salon.

“Naku best, ang ganda natin” nakangiting sabi nito. “Excited na ‘ko mamaya. Tiyak maglalaway ang mokong na ‘yon.”

“Hay naku, si kuya Jacob na naman n’yan” hula niya.

“Yah! Makikita nang mokong na ‘yon at magsisisi siya kung bakit hindi man lang niya pinapansin ang beauty ko” sabi nito na may halong  inis.

Naiintidihan niya ang kaibigan kasi pareho sila na hindi pinapansin ng mga crush nila. Pero hindi niya ‘yon sinabi sa kaibigan kasi nahihiya siya na malaman na gusto niya ang kuya nito.

“Don’t worry best, parang may pag-asa ka” sabi niya sabay tawa nang binaybay na nila ang daan pauwi.

“Ayan ka na naman best, you always gave me a reason to hope” malungkot nitong sabi. “Eh, wala ngang nangyayari”. Malapit na sila sa condo niya.

“I’m not giving you hope best, I’m just telling you the truth” paniniguro niya sa kaibigan. “Well, dito nalang ako best and thank you for the ride” sabi niya agad nang makarating sa building ng condo niya. “See you later” dagdag pa niya.

“Best” tawag sa kanya ni Sam nang papasok na siya sa building. Ibinigay nito ang paperbag na may lamang damit na isinukat niya kanina. “Wear that later or else magtatampo ako sayo.” Hindi na siya makapalag nang bilisan nito ang paglakad papunta sa kotse nito. Wala siyang magawa kundi susuutin niya ito mamaya.

Nang makarating na siya sa unit ay naidlip muna sandali. Mabuti nalang ay nag-out of town ito kasama ang mga officemates. Tiyak niyang pagtatawanan siya nito kasi nakasuot siya ng dress.

Nagising siya one hour before the party. Pagkagising niya ay dali-dali siyang nagbihis dahil susunduin pa siya ni Sherwin. Tamang tama ay tapos na siya nang may nagdoorbell.

PUMUNTA agad siya sa condo ni Dan nang tawagan siya ni Sherwin. Humingi ito ng favor at hindi na siya nakatanggi pa.

“Pare, pwede mo bang sunduin si Dan mamaya?” tanong nito. Nagulat siya dahil si Dan pala ang tinutukoy nitong susunduin sana nito.

“What? Si Dan? Alam mo namang hindi kami nagkakasundo nu’n.”

“I know pare but nakapangako na kasi ako sa kanya na susunduin ko siya kaso lang ay hindi pwede e. Matatagalan pa ko kasi ihahatid ko pa ang Papa sa airport” paliwanag nito.

“O sige pare ako na ang bahala” sang-ayon niya.

Hindi siya mapakali dahil ngayon lang niya makakasama nang sarilinan ang babaeng lagi sa isip niya. Natotorpe siya kaya naman dinala nalang niya sa pang-asar ang pakitungo niya rito.

Nakarating na siya sa condo ni Dan. Excited siya na makita ito at makasama. Agad siyang sumakay nang elevator papunta sa floor ng unit nito. At nang makarating sa pintuan ay nagdoorbell siya. Hindi naman siya nabagot sa kahihintay nang pagbuksan agad siya nito.

Isang magandang babae ang bumungad sa kanyang harapan. Hindi niya agad nakilala ang dalaga at bigla siyang napatanga sa pagkakita sa dalaga. Lalo itong gumanda sa paningin niya. Bumagay dito ang bagong kulot na buhok at “My God, bagay na bagay ang suot niyang damit” nasa isip niya pero hindi niya ‘yon nagustuhan kasi alam niyang marami ang magpapalipad-hangin dito. At bigla siyang napasimangot. Bumalik siya sa kanyang katinuan nang makita ang reaksyon nito.

“Kuya Dean?” gulat na tanong nito. “What are you doing here? Where’s Sherwin?” usisa nito habang na nakakunot-noo. Nagulat siguro ito dahil hindi si Sherwin ang nakita kundi siya. Bigla siyang nagselos sa tinuran nito.

“He’s not coming to fetch you baka kasi malate siya sa pagsundo sa’yo. Ihahatid pa niya ang Papa niya sa airport” paliwanag niya na may halong galit.

“Galit ka?” galit din nitong tanong. Naaaliw talaga siya pag-inaasar niya ito.

“Bakit ganyan ang suot mo?” tanong niya rito na walang ka-ekspre-ekspresyon ang mukha.

“Eh anong paki mo, boyfriend ba kita? Bakit nangingialam ka?” istriktang sagot nito.

“Do you think I care?” inis niya tanong. Hindi na ito umimik at alam niyang naiinis na naman ito sa kanya.

“Shall we?” yaya niya rito sabay lahad ng kamay para igiya niya ito palabas. Pero hindi nito tinanggap ang kamay niya, at dali-dali itong lumabas ng condo nito at nagdadabog pa. Nangiti na lamang siya.

HINDI siya mapakali. Hindi siya mawari sa kanyang kinauupuan. Hindi siya makapaniwalang nasa kotse siya nito.

Nang buksan niya ang pinto ay akala niya si Sherwin iyon. Gulat na gulat siya nang mabungaran niya ang ultimate crush niya. Hindi niya pinahalata ang kilig na nadarama sapagkat inis siya rito kasi inaasar siya parati. At hayon nga at inasar na naman siya dahil sa kanyang damit. Hindi naman masama ang damit niya ah. Bago pa nga niya binuksan ang pinto ay muli niyang sinilip ang sarili sa salamin. Sa tingin naman niya hindi masyadong liberated ang dating niya. Nainis siya dahil nagpaganda pa naman siya para lang kay Dean pero wa epek.

“Hmmp! Bahala siya. Hindi lang naman siya ang lalaki rito sa mundo. Kakainis talaga, bulag ba ito at hindi man lang nakita ang kagandahan ko?” inis na sabi niya sa sarili.

Tahimik silang dalawa habang nasa kotse. Si Dean ay tahimik na nagmamaneho habang ang tingin ay nasa daan lang. Siya naman ay nagdesisyong makinig nalang sa kanyang ipod. Eksaktong paborito niyang kanta ni Taylor Swift ang nakaplay kaya naman hindi niya mapigilang kumanta.

HINDI niya napigilang tumingin kay Dan nang kumanta ito. Naaaliw siyang tiningnan ito kasi parang bata itong kumilos. Well, bata nga ito sa edad na seventeen. Pahampas-hampas pa ito sa legs nito na parang nagda-drums at walang pakialam na nandiyan siya. Iiling-iling nalang niyang ibinalik ang mga mata sa daan.

“He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

He says everything I need to hear

And it’s like

I couldn’t ask for anything better

He opens up my door and I get

Into his car

And he says you look beautiful tonight

And I feel perfectly fine…”

Nagulat pa siya nang sumigaw ito.

“But I miss screaming and fighting

and kissing in the rain

And it’s 2am and I’m cursing

Your name

I’m so in love that I acted insane

And that’s the way I loved

you oohh…..”

Hindi na nito natapos ang kanta nang kinuha niya ang isa sa mga earphone nito.

“Ano ba?” galit nitong tanong.

“We’re here” sabi niya.

“Okay! Sana man lang ay hindi mo biglang hinablot ang earphone ko” galit nitong sabi habang nagtatangkang buksan na ang pinto.

Bago pa nito binksan ang pinto ay inunahan na niya ito at pinagbuksan. Ngumiti naman ito ng bahagya kaya naman ay bumilis ang pintig ng kanyang puso.

NILAKASAN talaga niya ang pagkanta kasi gusto niyang ilabas ang nararamdaman niya. Nasasaktan na siya sa turing nito sa kanya. Hindi man lang siya pinuri nito. “Ay ewan” sabi nalang niya sa sarili. Nagulat nalang siya nang biglang hablutin ni Dean ang isang earphone niya. Medyo nagalit siya kasi nasira ang moment niya.

“We’re here” sabi pa nito. Hindi niya inaasahan na pagbubuksan siya nito ng pinto at inilahad nito ang kamay. Namalayan na lamang niyang iniabot niya ang kamay nito. Napamaang siya dahil ang gwapo talaga nang mokong na ‘to. Mas gumwapo pa ito sa suot na tuxedo. At ang bango pa. Hay!

“Thank you” maikli niyang sabi.

Papasok pa sila sa garden ng kuya Jonas niya ay nakita na niya si Sam na kumaway sa kanila. Ngumiti ito na parang kinikilig pero ininda niya ito.

Habang papasok sila ay hindi lingid sa kanya ang mga matang nakatutok sa kanila. Para silang magcouple sa sitwasyon nila. Ang ibang babae ay napaismid nang makita siya na kasama si Dean. Ang mga lalaki naman ay napamaang nang makita siya lalong lalo na ang mga kabarkada niya. Mabuti nalang ay nakarating na sila sa mesa nila kundi ay baka malusaw pa siya nang bonggang-bongga.

“Oh, my! Best, ang ganda-ganda mo” exagge nitong sabi. “Para kayong magkasintahan ni kuya kanina ah” kinikilig nitong sabi.

“Ang OA mo ha” hiyang sagot niya rito. “Loka! Baka marinig ka ng kuya mo.”

“Totoo naman ah. Hindi mo lang pansin itong kuya ko” natatawa nitong sabi.

“Sira”. Kung alam mo lang best. Kaso hindi ko maishare sa ‘yo.

Bago pa magsimula ang party ay sabay nilang binigay ang gift kay Jonas.

“Oh my God, Danielle, Sam! Kayo ba talaga ‘yan? You’re both beautiful tonight.” Isang humahangang sabi ni Jonas. “Dan! Aba, babae pala tong  bunso namin ah” natatawang wika nito habang nakatitig sa kanya.

“Maganda naman talaga kami ah kahit kelan” kwelang sabi ni Sam.

“Over ka kuya Jonas ah! Lalaki talaga ang tingin niyo sa ‘kin ha” kunwaring tampo niya. “Pero salamat nalang sa papuri  mo, mabuti ka pa!” dagdag pa niya.

“Hep hep” sabad naman ni Jacob sa usapan. “Ako rin naman ah, palagi kitang pinupuri” sabi nito sabay akbay. Totoo naman ang sinabi nito. Si kuya Jacob kasi ang pinakaclose niya rito. Pareho kasi sila ng kurso at palagi siyang nagpapaturo rito. Kalog din ito katulad niya. Ito rin ang sasaklolo sa kanya kapag inaasar siya ni Dean. Jacob has been a good friend to her. Hindi siya naiilang dito kasi alam niyang wala itong gusto sa kanya at alam niya kung sino ang gusto nito.

“Excuse me Dan, do’n muna ako sa table natin kasi may nakita akong hindi kanais-nais dito” agad na sabi ni Sam. Hindi nalang niya pinigil ang kaibigan dahil nand’yan si Jacob.

“Anong nangyari do’n?” takang tanong ni Jacob. Kibitbalikat nalang ang kanyang isinagot dito para hidi na humaba pa ang usapan.

“Aba kuya Jacob, ang gwapo natin ngayon ah. Tiyak kong merong hindi makakatulog ngayon sa kaiisip sa’yo” pilya niyang wika habang nakatingin sa kaibigan na nakabalik na sa table nila. Tiningnan siya nito nang masama at hindi niya mapigilang tumawa.

“Good evening everyone. Thank you for coming here in my son’s birthday. Please enjoy the night” bungad sa kanila nang daddy ni Jonas. At hudyat na ‘yon para kumain.

“Ok! Let’s eat then” sabi niya at pumunta na rin sila sa table nila.

Marami na rin ang nagdadatingang mga bisita. Halos mga kabatchmates nito at iba pang bisita ng papa nito. Bongga ang party na ‘yon kasi may banda pang kinuha ang mga ito.

Napasimangot siya dahil invited din pala ang bruhang si Dennise. Hindi niya makalimutan ang ginawang pang-iinsulto nito sa kanya.  Of course, matalim ang tingin nito sa kanya kasi nga magkasabay sila ni Dean na dumating sa party. Hindi nalang niya ito pinansin dahil ayaw niyang masira pa lalo ang gabi niya.

“Hey guys! Tamang-tama pala ang dating ko, kainan na pala” bungad sa kanila ni Sherwin at agad itong umupo sa tabi niya. “Wow, tama ba ang nakita ko? Sina Sam at Dan itong nakikita ko?” hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Sherwin sa kanila.

“Naku ha! Ang isa pang OA! Ngayon ka lang ba nakakakita nang maganda?” biro ni Sam.

“Kumain ka nalang kaya. Gutom lang ‘yan” sigunda naman niya.

“Yeah, kumakalam na ang sikmura ko” sabi nalang nito. “Pero ang ganda niyo talaga ngayon” dagdag pa nito habang kumukuha na ng pagkain.

Masaya silang kumain. May sense of humor kasi silang lahat. Parang sila lang yata ang maingay doon. Masaya nilang binibiro si Jonas.

“Dan, sino ba ang hinahanap mo?” tanong ni Jacob sa kanya na nahalata siguro siya na palingon-lingon.

“Ah eh si Kuya Dean. Hindi ko na kasi siya nakita mula nang dumating kami dito” paliwanag niya.

“Ay sus, namiss mo agad?” tudyo ni Sam.

“Himala! At hinanap mo pa. Bakit kaya?” nangingiting wika ni Jacob sa kanya.

“Hoy, ‘wag n’yo nga akong pagtulungan. Hinahanap lang eh, anong masama ro’n? ” pangangatwiran niya.

“Oi, defensive” si Jacob.

“Ouch! Buti pa si Dean, hinahanap.” Si Sherwin iyon na kunwa’y nagseselos.

“Please! Tumigil nga kayo” namumula na siya. “Hindi kami talo” dagdag pa niya.

My Only You – Chapter 1

 

First day of class ni Danielle sa isa sa mga kilalang University, first year siya sa kursong BSECE. Six pa lang ng umaga ay gising na siya dahil alas syete y medya ang una niyang klasi. Kinakabahang papasok siya sa unibersidad dahil hindi niya alam kung saang building siya pupunta. Wala siyang kakilala rito maliban sa kanyang pinsan na iba ang rin ang kursong kinuha.

“Miss!” Napalingon siya kahit hindi sigurado kung siya ang tinatawag. Isang magandang babae ang nakangiti ang tumawag sa kanya. “Alam mo ba kung saang room ito? Hindi ko kasi mahanap eh.” Ipinakita nito ang admissions slip sa kanya kung saan nakasulat ang mga subjects at designated rooms nito.

She shook her head and smile. “Sorry miss kasi hindi ko rin alam eh. Hinahanap ko rin yan.”

She smiled. “Really? Classmate pala tayo. By the way, I’m Sam, Sammantha Perez” pakilala nito sabay lahad ng kamay nito.

“I’m Dan, Danielle Lex Rodriguez” sabi niya habang tinatanggap niya ang palad nito.

Masaya siya dahil may nakilala na siyang bagong kaibagan. Magaan na ang loob niya rito kahit ngayon lang niya ito nakilala.

“Wow, pareha pala tayong panlalaki ang pangalan ah.” puna nito habang nakangiti. “I’m sure na magkakasundo tayo. Halika na nga, sabay na tayo sa paghahanap ng room natin baka malate tayo” anyaya nito at sinang-ayunan naman niya.

“Sam, iyon ata ang classroom natin.” sabi niya sabay turo.

“Oh, thanks God at nakita na rin natin. Kakapagod kaya maghanap.”

“Oo nga. Halika na, baka nandyan na ang professor natin.”

“Wait!” pigil nito sa kanya. “Hihintayin ko muna ang kuya ko, susunod nalang ako.”

“Ha? May kuya ka dito?” gulat niyang tanong.

“Oo. Nakakatawa ka naman para kang gulat na gulat na may kapatid ako ah!” natatawang sabi nito.
“Hindi naman. Kasi kung may kapatid ka dito bakit hindi ka nagtanong sa kanya kung saan ang room mo?” paglilinaw niya. Napansin niyang nagulat ang magandang nitong mukha sa sinabi niya pero deneadma nalang niya ito .

“Oo nga ano? Well technically, we are not living on the same roof kasi nandoon na siya nakatira sa condo unit nito. Hindi ko na kasi natanong sa sobrang excited ko na pumasok sa school.” paliwanag nito. “Oh my, bakit ‘di ko ‘yon naisip?” sabi nito.

Natawa siya. “Ahh, kaya pala.”

“Sam!” tawag ng isang tinig na nagpalingon sa kanila.

“Kuya!” sagot naman ni Sam. Habang paparating ang lalaking sabi ni Sam na kuya nito ay tinitigan nya ito. Hindi maikakailang kapatid nga ito ni Sam dahil pareho sila ng mga mata. Gwapong-gwapo ito tingnan sa suot na tshirt lang at pantalon. Matangkad din ito na akalaing mong basketball player. Hindi niya maitago ang paghanga niya rito pero pinigil niya ang sarili. Naglakas loob siyang tingnan ito nang mabuti dahil hindi naman ito tumingin sa kanya. Mas gumwapo pa ito nang nakita niyang ngumiti ito. Hindi niya napaghandaan ang pagtingin nito sa kanya at alam niyang huling-huli siya nito na nakatitig. Nahalata siguro nito ang pamumula niya kaya tumingin uli ito sa kapatid.

“Here!” sabi nito sabay lahad ng pera kay Sam.

“Oh! thank you kuya” nangingiting sabi ni Sam sabay yakap sa kapatid. “Thank you for waking up early. I forgot to bring my wallet because I’m so excited here in the University. And I missed you na. hehehe!”

“Sus, hindi ka rin bolero ano! Kung hindi rin lang kita namiss ay ‘di ako nagmamadali na pumunta rito” sabi naman nito na may ngiti sa labi.

“Oh, by the way kuya, this is my new friend” nahihiyang sabi nito kasi parang nakalimutan ata na andyan siya. Pero nakita niya sa mga mata ni Sam ang kislap nito na parang may ibig sabihin pero di na nya ‘yon pinansin.

“Hi, I’m Dean Evan” pakilala nito sabay lahad ng kamay nito.

“I’m Danielle Lex Rodriguez, Dan for short. Nice meeting you” pakilala niya at tinanggap ang pakikipagkamay nito. Hindi niya mawari ang kaba habang nagkalapat ang kanilang mga kamay. Hindi naman siya gan’un kapag may magpapakilala sa kanya. Agad-agad niyang kinuha ang kamay niya na parang napaso. Para siyang tanga sa ginawa niya. Tumigil ka nga Dan! Para kang praning. sita niya sa sarili. Nahalata niyang hindi pa rin ito umiiwas ng tingin sa kanya kaya ganu’n nalang ang pag-init ng kanyang pisngi.

“Hay nako kuya, stop looking at her. She is blushing” panunudyo ni Sam na nahalata siguro ang pamumula niya kaya sinabihan nito si Dean.

“Oh, I’m sorry” bawi naman nito.

“No, it’s o-okay” nauutal niyang sabi.

Kriiiiiiing

Whew! Saved by the bell. Sabi niya sa sarili. Mabuti nalang at time na.

“O sige na kuya at papasok na kami sa klase namin. Thank you pala sa baon ko.”

“No prob little sis. By the way, what time is your vacant? We will have lunch together, my treat.” sabi nito.

“Hmmm, tamang-tama at may lunch break ako” sabi naman ni Sam.

“Isama mo na rin niyang kaibigan mo. Just text me if you’re free” sabi nito habang nakatingin sa kanya na nakangiti. Binaliwala niya ‘yon at hinarap si Sam.

“Tara na Sam. Late na tayo.” sabay talikod niya.

“Ok” sang-ayon naman nito.

Three hours ang kanilang klasi pero 9am palang ay dinismiss na sila agad ng kanilang teacher pagkatapos nilang mag-introduce sa kanilang sarili at binigyaan pa sila ng mga dapat bilhin. Hindi niya alam kung saan siya pupunta dahil 11:30 pa ang susunod na klase niya. Mabuti nalang at niyaya siya ni Sam na magsnack. Agad naman siyang sumama rito dahil hindi nga niya alam kung saan siya pupunta.

Habang papunta na sila sa sa bakanteng mesa ay hindi lingid sa kaalaman niya na maraming nakatingin sa kanila. Bukod kasi kay Sam na maganda talaga itong tingnan ay sa kanya rin ang mga ito nakatingin. Maganda nga siya pero wala pang boyfriend. Hindi nga makapaniwala ang mga kaibigan niya noong nasa highschool sila na wala pa siyang boyfriend. Maraming nanliligaw sa kanya noong highschool pa siya ngunit ni isa ay wala siyang sinagot at lahat ay takot sa barkada niya. Hindi sa pinagbabawalan siya ng kanyang mga magulang kundi ayaw niya talaga. Ayaw niyang may magkakagusto sa kanya dahil naiilang siya. Pero kung may nanliligaw sa kanya ay sinasabihan niya lang ang mga ito na “walang talo-talo”. Kaya naman hindi nalang nila itinuloy ang balak. Lahat ng nanligaw sa kanya ay naging kaibigan naman niya. Buti nalang hindi sila galit sa kanya. Maraming naiinggit sa kanya dahil sa lapitin siya na mga lalaki at kabarkada pa niya ang mga gwapong lalaki. Natatawa nalang siya sa mga babaeng naiinggit sa kanya. Bagamat maganda siya ay simply lang siyang manamit parang lalaki parating nakamaong pants at tshirt lang. Hindi siya maarte at higit sa lahat ay hindi siya mahilig sa sosyalan. Sa mga school activities lang siya sumasali dahil compulsory iyon gaya ng mga acquaintance party from 1st year to 4th year highschool. Nakapagsuot lang yata siya nang dress ay noong JS Prom nila. Naalala pa niya kung gaano namangha ang kanyang mga classmates at kabarkada pagkakita sa kanya. Hindi makapaniwala sa kanilang nakita. Isa-isa itong nakipagsayaw sa kanya animo’y debut niya. Simply lang naman ang kanyang dress na kulay pula pero hapit na hapit sa kanyang katawan na ikinaganda nito. At dahil doon ay nakita nang mga ito ang kanyang likas na ganda. Namiss niya talaga ang mga kaibigan niya. Natigil lang ang kanyang kaiisip ng may sinabi si Sam sa kanya.

“Anong sabi mo?” tanong niya dito dahil hindi niya narinig ito.

“Ang sabi ko, maraming nakatingin sa ‘yo.” ulit ni Sam sa kanya.

“Ha? Baka naman sayo. Hayaan mo nalang sila” sabi niya na totoo naman.

“Well, maiba ako. Taga saan ka Danielle?” tanong nito.

“Dan nalang, mas sanay akong tawaging Dan eh.” nakangiti niyang sabi. “I’m from Surigao but naghighschool ako sa Cebu. I lived at my grandparents house.”

“Bakit naman?”

“‘Coz nagmigrate na ang parents ko sa Australia at iba ko pang kuya. Dalawa nalang kami rito sa Pilipinas ng isa ko pang kuya” paliwanag niya rito. “Oh, ikaw naman. Taga sa’n ka?” tanong naman niya rito.

“Hmmm, since the day I was born ay dito na ‘ko sa Manila nakatira.”

“At –……” magtatanong pa sana siya nang may biglang tumawag kay Sam. Napansin niyang marami ang nakakakilala kay Sam. Siguro nga dahil taga rito lang ito at baka mga classmates ito ni Sam noong high school. Nalungkot siya nang maalala ang mga kaibigan. Hindi niya namalayan na nandoon pala ang kuya ni Sam, kasama ng mga lalaking na sa tingin niya ay mga varsity players. Tama nga ako, basketball player pala ito.

“Hi kuya! Hi Jacob” bati nito.

“Ouch Sam, sila lang ba ang babatiin mo?” tanong ng isang player na kunwari ay nasaktan sa ‘di pagbati sa kanya.

“Hay naku! nagpapapansin na naman si Sherwin. Huwag na kasing umasa na sasagutin ka pa ni Sam” sabat naman nang isa pang player na ibinuking si Sherwin. Nagkatawanan ang mga ito sa pagbubuking ng kanilang kasama. Hay, naalala na naman niya ang barkada.

“Heh! Tumigil kayong dalawa dyan” biro naman ni Sam sa kanila habang nakatingin ito sa lalaking nagngangalang Jacob na bahagya lang ang tawa.

“Sam, hindi mo ba kami ipapakilala sa maganda mong kaibigan?” putol ni Sherwin na nakahalata sa presensiya niya.

“Ay! Oo nga pala, this is Dan. Dan, these are my brother’s teammates.” pakilala nito sa kanya.

“Dan? Cool, panlalaki ang pangalan mo ah. Astig” sabi ni Sherwin sabay lahad ng kamay nito. “Hi nice meeting you. I’m Sherwin”.

“Over ka naman, mas cool nga iyang pangalan mo e” ganting biro naman niya rito habang iniabot ang kamay ni Gerald. “Actually, Danielle talaga ang pangalan ko” sabi niya habang pilit niyang kunin ang kanyang kamay mula rito. Nahalata siguro nito ang pagtutol niya dahil matagal nitong binitawan ang kamay niya. Nang napatingin siya kay Dean ay nakita niyang nakakunot-noo itong tumingin kay Sherwin. Galit ba ito dahil sa inasal ng kaibigan sa kanya o imagination lang niya ‘yon. Hindi na niya pinansin ang nakita niya kasi busy na siya sa pakikipagkamay sa mga bagong kakilala. Masaya siyang sumasagot sa bawat tanong na ibinato nila sa kanya pero nanghinayang siya dahil ni isa mang tanong ay hindi man lang nagtanong si Dean. Hindi ba interesadong makilala siya ng mokong nato? tanong niya sa sarili. Naiinis siya dahil tahimik lang itong nakikinig sa IPod nito. Nang may isang magandang babae ang dumating at niyakap ito. Hindi siya mawari sa nakita niya. Parang kinurot ang kanyang puso na akala mo’y nagseselos siya. Hindi! Hindi ako nagseselos. Bakit naman ako magseselos sa kanya, e ngayon ngayon lang kaya kami mgkakakilala. sita niya sa sarili. Napapraning na ako! dagdag pa niya

“Hi ate Cath, musta na? ‘Di ka na pumupunta sa bahay ah. Nagtatampo na si Mommy sa’yo” excited na sabi ni Sam na mukhang namimiss na nga ang babae.

Mabuti nalang at time na at may maidadahilan siya para lumayo sa mga ito. Ipinakilala muna siya sa magandang babae na nagngangalang Cath. Akala niya na ay maldita ito pero nagkamali siya. Gaya ni Sam ay mabait din ito. 3:30 palang nang hapon ay tapos na ang kanyang klase. Natapos ang araw niya na masaya dahil sa mga bago niyang kaibigan at dahil na rin parati niyang nakikita sa malayo si Dean. Hindi niya maikukubli na crush nga niya si Dean pero hindi niya pinapansin ang damdamin dahil ang akala niya na may kasintahan ito at ‘yon ay si Cath. Hindi na siya nakasama kay Sam nang magyaya ito na maglunch kasi maglulunch din sila nang kuya niya.

“KUYA!” tawag sa kanya nang kanyang kapatid na si Sam habang papunta siya sa kanyang kotse.

“I like her, kuya!” sabi nito sa kanya.

“Who?” tanong niya.

“Pa-who-who ka pa diyan, alam mo namang kung sino ang tinutukoy ko.” inis na sabi nito. Alam niya kung sino ang tinutukoy nito pero hindi siya nagpahalata rito. “You’re right, maganda nga siya kahit simple lang ito at mabait pa talaga ha.” commento nito. “Hmmm kuya? Bakit mo ba ako inutusan na kilalanin si Danielle? Ang torpe mo naman kuya. Parang hindi kaw ‘yan ah.” ngingiting puna nito.

“Tigilan mo nga ‘ko Sam baka wala kang allowance ngayon” biro niya sa kapatid. “Gawin mo nalang ‘yong pinagagawa ko sa ‘yo baka magkabistuhan pa.”

“Hay naku kuya, ako pa? Wala yata kang bilib sa akin ah.”

“Aba, nagdadrama ang kapatid ko. By the way, pinapapunta muna tayo ni daddy sa office niya bago tayo aalis.”

“Ok”

Pagkatapos pumunta sa daddy nila ay inihatid na niya ang kanyang kapatid sa bahay nila. Hindi siya doon nakatira dahil gusto niyang maging independent. At pinayagan naman siya ng kanyang mga magulang sa isang kondisyon na bibisita siya every weekend. Hindi naman siya pumapalya sa pagdalaw sa mga magulang. Pero nang magkaproblema siya sa kanyang girlfriend ay hindi na siya nauuwi. Masakit ang naging karanasan niya sa pag-ibig . Hiniwalayan siya nang girlfriend niya at sumama sa lalaking may asawa pa. Hindi niya iyon natanggap dahil lubos niyang minahal ang kasintahan. At dahil doon nagkukulong siya sa condo niya at kung hindi man ay pumupunta siya kasama ang mga kaibigan sa isang bar at nagpakalasing. Tatlong buwan din siya ganun ang buhay. At hanggang nakita niya ang babaeng nagpabalik sa kanyang katinuan. Una niyang nakita ito sa NAIA nang minsang sunduin niya ang pinsan niya. Nastar struck talaga siya nito kaya naman sabi niya sa sarili na kung makikita niya uli ito ay hindi na niya pakakawalan. At naulit nga na nakita niya ito at sinuswerte nga naman ay sa school pa nila ito nagpapaenrol. Hindi siya nagpapakita dito dahil nahihiya siya. Nahihiya siya? Oh common! Siya nahihiya sa isang babae? Oo, nahihiya siya kaya naman hindi siya mapakali.

“Hello? Sam?” Tumawag siya sa kapatid dahil magpapatulong siya dito. Alam kasi niya na matutulungan siya nito.

“Hello? Sino ‘to?” sagot sa kabilang linya.

“Sam, kuya mo ‘to. I need your help.”

“Oh kuya, how are you? Bakit ngayon ka lang tumawag? Aba, tumawag ka lang kasi may kailangan ka sa ‘kin? Ouch naman, i thought you missed me.” sabi nito na walang preno at may halong pagtatampo.

“I’m sorry sis. Forgive me ok? I really need your help. Can you do me favor?” tanong niya dito.

“Ok ok ok, apology accepted. Yeah sure, what can i do for you?”

“May gusto sana akong ipapagawa sayo. Gusto kong kaibiganin mo ang isang babae.”

“Ha? Pa’no ko naman ‘yon gagawin?” gulat na tanong nito. “Bakit hindi nalang ‘kaw? Oh my! Ang kuya ko nahihiya?” sabi nito sabay tawa.

“Stop laughing sis. I’m serious. Well, I know you can do it sis. Madali lang ‘yan kasi pareho kayo ng kurso at sa school siya natin nagpapaenroll. I will send you her pic and schedule.” pgbibigay niya ng detalye sa kapatid.

“Wow, alam na alam ah” panunudyo nito. “Ok, I will do my best basta bigyan mo rin ako nang allowance.”

“Sure! Sige Sam, magkita nalang tayo sa school. Send my regards to mommy” paalam niya sa kapatid.

Napatigil lang siya sa kanyang muni-muni nang nasilayan na niya ang bahay nila. Ngayon lang siya uli nakauwi kasi miss na niya ang kanyang ina.

FRIDAY na at excited na siya dahil wala na siyang pasok bukas. Makakatulog na rin siya ng maayos dahil hindi na siya maagang gigising. Excited din siya dahil may mga plano na siya ngayong weekend. Maggogrocery siya at bibili rin ng mga gamit na kakailanganin sa school. Hilig talaga niyang maggrocery, masaya siya dahil mabibili niya ang gusto niyang bilhin.
Habang nakaupo siya sa ilalim ng puno ay may lumapit sa kanya at ito ay si Sherwin. Hindi na niya ikinagulat iyon dahil noong makilala siya nito ay naging kabarkada na niya ang mga ito. Hindi nito itinatago ang pagtingin nito sa kanya.

“Dan, may pag-asa ba ko?” tanong uli nito sa kanya. Gusto na niya itong sungitan dahil paulit-ulit nalang nitong tinatanong sa kanya. Pero di na niya ginawa dahil mabait naman ito.

“O, hayan ka na naman ha. Di ba sinabihan na kita sa sagot ko?”

“Baka kasi mag-iba na ang isip mo” nahihiya nitong sabi habang nakangiti. Hindi niya maikukubli na gwapo naman si Sherwin. Marami nga ang nagpapalipad-hangin at lahat ay pinapansin niya. Isa lang ang nagpapaturn-off nito sa kanya, ang pagiging playboy nito.

“Hay naku Sherwin, wala kang mapapala sa ‘kin.” natatawa niyang sabi. “Ibaling mo nalang ‘yan pagtingin sa iba. Hayan naman si Carol na patay na patay sayo” nangingiti niyang sabi.

“They’re not my type, Danielle” sabi nito. Ayaw niya itong umasa kaya naman ay diniritso na niya ito. Ang gusto sana niyang magkagusto sa kanya ay si Dean pero malabo na yatang mangyari ‘yon. Siguro karma na siguro ‘yon sa kanya dahil nga sa mga nabasted noon. At ngayon ay siya na ang nangangarap na sana magkagusto naman sa kanya si Dean.

“Excuse me! Pwede h’wag ka ngang paharang-harang sa daan! Bitch” sabad ng isang babae habang pinupulot niya ang kanyang mga gamit ng mahulog ang mga ito.

“Excuse me? Anong sinabi mo?” galit niyang tanong rito dahil sa narinig niyang pang-iinsulto nito. Galit siya dahil maraming nakarinig ‘yon.

“Bingi ka ba? Sabi ko tabi d’yan bitch!” sabi nitong nakakainsulto. Nagpantig ang kanyang mga tenga sa narinig niya. Hindi niya ‘yon matanggap na may mang-iinsulto sa kanya nang ganu’n at sa harap pa nang mga kaklase niya. Pero nagpakahinahon pa rin siya. Mabuti nalang ay tinuruan siya ng kanyang mga magulang nang magandang asal kung hindi ay sinabunutan na niya ito.

“Akala ko kasi sarili mo ang sinasabihan ng ganyan.” Iniinis niya ito. “Bakit nagpapansin ka sa ‘kin? Gusto mo bang maging kaibigan ko?” pang-iinis niya uli rito.

“Aba at ang kapal ng mukha mo!” galit nitong sabi. Akmang susugurin siya nito at mabuti nalang ay may nagsalita sa likuran.

“Stop it Dennisse” isang ma-awtoridad na tinig na nagmula sa kanyang likuran ang nagsalita. Hindi siya lumingon dito dahil alam na niya kung sino ito. It’s Dean.

“You have no right to insult me like that because you don’t know me” galit na niyang sabi. “Here” sabi niya sabay bigay ang nakuha niyang piso mula sa bulsa niya. “Buy some manners. I think you need it. At bumili ka ng kausap mo” sabay talikod niya rito. Alam niyang napahiya ang babae na ‘yon pero hindi niya mapigilan ang maiyak dahil sa nangyari.

Childrens Fishing at port area

New post on Pursuit of a Joyful Life

What is worthwhile: A Teacher’s Perspective by pursuitofajoyfullife Not long ago, I wrote an article called “What Students Remember Most About Teachers” to which I received a phenomenal response from my readership. I continue to hear daily from people with stories to share about the teachers who made an impact on their lives- hear from those as well who share about the teachers who have chosen worthwhile ways in which to interact and be with their students, in the day-to-day lives of their classrooms. Last week, I received this comment, a comment which stopped me abruptly in my tracks, causing me to consider to an even greater degree the message behind that article I had written. Here is the comment in its entirety: I’m new to the world of teaching – just finished my internship in a lovely kindergarten classroom. However, at the end of my experience three months ago, one of my students unexpectedly passed away. It has had a profound effect on my view of a teacher, but it has been difficult to put into words how my priorities changed. This letter explains it. To me, it is of course important to cover curricular objectives and make sure students are learning and growing. That is what teaching is. However, at the end of the day, the most important thing to me is that my students enjoy themselves and know that they were cared about. Because if, god forbid, it is their last few weeks on earth, I want those weeks to hold as much joy as possible. I know that’s not quite where you were going with this letter – but it rings true anyway. Thank you. As I read this teaching colleague’s letter written personally to me, images immediately conjured up in my mind of the horrific days just a little over a year ago whereby I found myself to be in a very similar place as she finds herself now. Because at our school, a sweet little boy just down the hall from me, one grade level up- fell ill and later died on the heels of a busy school week. He was in school Friday, dead on Saturday. No warning. One last picture taken the day before, during Show and Tell, to hold a lifetime of memories. In fact, I sang and played the piano at his funeral. Jesus Loves Me, This I Know. How can one ever forget the image of a small casket holding one so precious, so full of potential and promise. It is a mother’s worst nightmare. And although I was not his mother- nor was I his classroom teacher, I am a mother to four other sweet children whom I held that much more tightly, that much closer. And teacher to countless others I call my own. I hold these all a little closer, a little tighter, now that I know better. Now that I know more. Because one never comes through an event like that unscathed. Unbroken. It was heart-breaking- words fail to adequately sum up the emotions. It affected all of us in our school- and indeed in the surrounding communities as well. Such a profound and senseless loss. And when one has experienced loss in such a way, I don’t think you ever look again at things in quite the same way. No longer are you asking the same questions, going through the same rote motions. Habitually living your life. Rather, you ask yourself this: if this were my childrens’ or any one of my students’ last day here on earth, would it be a pleasant, happy, peaceful one for them? Would I in any way be a hindrance to them in living out their last moments here on earth with joy and hope? Would I actually be a help, offering them kindness, love, compassion and concern? Would their last day on earth be the best day imaginable, the most fulfilling one possible: and all because I stopped to consider what was the most worthwhile way in which to spend that day with them? All because I chose to show care and concern over frustration and impatience? Important considerations for teachers to keep in mind. Because when it comes down to it, it really isn’t about the curriculum we teach: it is about the heart with which we teach that curriculum. It’s about the love we show in our words and in our actions. Donald S. Blumenfeld-Jones poses an important question in an article on curriculum as to what the right question must be for determining curricular studies. In order to get at what is important- what is CORE in terms of schooling and time spent “on task”, one must first ask “What knowledge is of most worth? Or even, “What knowledge can we not do without?” In other words, what is worth giving our time and attention to- our thoughts and intentions towards- in terms of learning.  In terms of mental, intellectual and physical growth? William Schubert in his article “What is worthwhile: From Knowing and Needing to Being and Sharing” poses thoughts on what is worthwhile in terms of learning. In terms of needing. Experiencing. Doing and being. In terms of becoming. And he extends these thoughts to what’s worthwhile in terms of sharing. In terms of contributing. What is worthwhile in terms of wondering. In other words, what is worth spending our precious time on earth as we live life, from second to second. Minute to minute. Day to day. Year to year. We only have this one opportunity: what is worthwhile doing and being while we’re at this job of living our lives? Or as teachers, we only ever have the day we are in RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT with our students: we are only ever guaranteed that one day in which we are living. Are we doing our utmost to make that one day the best one possible for our students? As if it could be their very last? Today, we are on our thirteenth storm day. Meaning, there have been thirteen non-consecutive days thus far in the school year here on P.E.I. for which school has been cancelled due to this unusually brutal winter we are having in Atlantic Canada (a winter which seems to be brutal in much of the rest of North America as well, I might add). Currently, there have been five consecutive days of cancelled classes, stimulating much talk in public and private circles which concern themselves with educational matters. People concerned with outcomes and expectations. People concerned with time off task and focused in-class instruction. People concerned that students not absorbing information and skills within the four corners of the school walls, must needs be not learning. People concerned with the matter that students need to be gaining knowledge in school rooms, not whittling their time away doing what kids like to be doing: whatever that might be. There will be calls that extra-curricular activities should be cancelled and that there must not be any wasted instructional time. But what is really of most worth will never be discussed: that students need teachers for more than merely instruction. They need teachers because teachers care. Care about them. Care about their person. Care about who they’ve been, who they are now and who they will one day become. Care to listen and to offer advice. Care to empathize and offer compassion. Care in little and big ways. That’s because teachers are interested in students as people- not just as consumers of knowledge. Not just as sponges who must soak up information. Teachers care about students because intrinsically we believe deep down that what is of worth knowing the most is this: our students. We want to know our students. And while we might be taken to task on matters of educational import, matters of the heart are really where it matters. And those matters are what teachers like myself will continue to spend their time on in spite of the call to “time on task”. Because what is of worth your last day of life should ever be in our minds: should be ever compelling us to stop and take heed. We have no idea how long- how much time anyone on this earth will be given. If this were the last day for anyone in my circle of influence, I should hope that the time they spent with me was worth their while. Was worth it. What is of most worth? Is it love or curriculum? Kindness or literacy? Compassion or numeracy? Empathy or time on task? Teaching to the test or teaching to the heart? The answer to each of these questions lies somewhere within us all. It is up to us to answer the question wisely and carefully. And the ways in which we answer these questions speak directly to where our heart is calling us.  That is, speak directly to whether our heart is calling us toward love or away from it.

I Wondered What Life Was

I was sitting on a curb in an empty parking lot, smoking cigarettes and wondering what life was. I had no idea what else to do. It just seemed right. I felt like I was in a movie, like there should have been melancholy music floating in the background. It’s ironic, though. I felt like I had to suck in dirty, life-threatening smoke to understand life’s meaning. I had to lose a few minutes to make sense of it all.

 

My stress was because of a girl, as it usually seems to be. I just met her and she seemed incredible. It was all going so well, and I thought that maybe I finally caught a break. That’s a fulfilling feeling. The feeling that you’ve found someone. I felt that. And I was happy.

But I went for a walk that night. And I saw her with another guy. And that feeling was pulled out of me like the smoke out of my lungs. Slowly. Deflating.

So I sat on a curb in an empty parking lot, smoked cigarettes, and wondered what life was. The air was thin and cool. Delicate, almost. The sky was empty except for a few stars. A storybook night by many accounts. A night perfect for holding hands until it was too dark to see. A night perfect for talking about bullshit, but enjoying the sound of sincere voices. A night perfect for doing nothing important, but doing it with someone important.

The only light I had was from street lights overhead and the faint orange glow in front of my mouth. I sat there, gravel under feet, staring at nothing in particular. Smoke disappeared from the end of my fingers into the air.

But as I sat, something caught my eye. A dull brown object moved in the distance. I couldn’t make it out through the grey night, but it was there. Moving towards me.

Methodically, it crept closer into view, closer the the curb where I sat and wondered what I was doing, why I was doing it, and if it even mattered. Deliberately, it walked towards me, into my sight, where it was clearer than any thought I could have had or any idea that I could have created. Gently, meandering on the pavement as if it were tip-toeing, approaching me.

I was all alone in that parking lot. There were no cars. There were no people.

But as this thing approached, that feeling left me, too.

Completely alone on this crisp night, sitting in an empty parking lot, smoking cigarettes and wondering what life was, I saw a single deer.

I watched silently as the doe, head down, progressed on the pavement. We were ignorant of each other for a while. But it didn’t take long for the creature’s senses to prevail.

I lowered my hand to the ground, and she saw me. Her head snapped up, and she became a statue. She was waiting for me to move again, but I didn’t. I sat perfectly still.

I looked at her round, black eyes. They never blinked. I saw the coarse, brown fur on her body and the soft white on her chest. She stared right back at me. And we were there for slow minutes, staring. It was like she came here for the same reason. To think about her life. Like this barren lot held all the answers somewhere beneath the concrete. It was like she knew what I was feeling. Like we understood each other.

We stared for slow minutes. At each others eyes. Knowing it wasn’t coincidence.

Finally, she lowered her head, smelled the ground, and walked on. Gradually, smoothly slipping out of my view.

She became indistinct again as she moved away. But just before I lost sight, she turned around and looked at me one more time. She looked in my eyes for a few seconds as if saying “You’ll be ok.” Then she looked away and disappeared.

I couldn’t process what it all meant. But it was a sign, I think. A reminder, maybe. A reminder that we are never alone. A reminder that we can be understood. A reminder that there is something out there.

A reminder that meaning can be found in the strangest places.

Even sitting on a curb in an empty parking lot, smoking cigarettes, wondering what life is.

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – (THE END) – Tagalog Online Pocketbook

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – (THE END)

BY Frdp

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF
KATULAD ng nakaraang araw, nagmukmok siya sa kuwarto.
Simula nang umalis si Redjonito, hindi na siya lumalabas ng bahay.
Ayaw niyang humarap sa kahit na sinuman. Kumalat kaagad ang
balitang iniwan siya ni Redjonito dahil nakipagbalikan ito sa ng ex-

girlfriend nito. And she’s too tired seeing people whispering when
she passes by. She felt so sick of it. Ilang beses siyang binisita ng
mommy ni Redjonito. Nakikiusap na kausapin siya. But she can’t
give her any explanation how things happened. Kaya hindi niya
ito hinarap. Hindi niya kaya. Alam niyang iiyak lang siya. Ayaw
niyang makakita ng kahit na anong bagay na nakakapagpapaalala
sa kanya ng binata para kahit papaano’y hindi niya maalalang

nasasaktan siya. She’s trying so hard to forget how much she is
hurting. She even stopped dancing.

Niyakap niya ang sarili. Hindi niya alam kung hanggang kailan siya
magiging ganito. It’s been three days since Redjonito left her and
the tears never stopped from falling. There were times she just
hugs herself at night because her heart is in too much pain and
she didn’t know how to hold herself up. And just like when Lemuel
left her for Wynona, she cried hard in her mother’s arms. But

unlike before, nothing could seem to soothe the pain she feels
inside. The hollow inside is so big that every breath hurts and
moving on seems the most difficult thing in the world to do.
Kahit sa mismong silid niya, naaalala niya ito. Redjonito stayed
that night she asked him to stay. Looking back, she wished she
just asked for him to stay forever. Maybe they had a chance… but
Redjonito really left her. It just hurts so much knowing that she

didn’t matter to him at all. He just left without even hearing her
out. And he’s together with his ex-girlfriend. They might even got
married now. Gumuhit ang pait sa dibdib niya sa naisip. She needs
to move on now. Pero hindi niya alam kung papaano. Nakagat

6
niya ang labi para pigilan ang hikbi. Letting go of the love she felt
for Redjonito is tearing her apart. She wonders how long can she
endure this… this piercing pain that seemed to be triggered

everytime she breathes. She hardly sleeps at night thinking how
will she able to get through every tomorrow.

“Anak, may bisita ka,” anang ina na kinatok siya.
Mabilis niyang pinahid ang luha. “M-Masama po ang pakiramdam
ko, Ma.”

Nagulat siya nang biglang bumukas ang silid. Mabilis siyang
nagtalukbong ng kumot. Ayaw niyang makita siya ng ina niya na
umiiyak na naman. “Pabalikin n’yo na lang po bukas.”

Narinig niyang napabuntong-hininga ang ina. Narinig niya ang
yabag nito papalapit at umupo sa kama niya.

“O-Okay lang po ako,” aniyang pilit pinatatag ang tinig, “Sinipon
na naman ako dahil sa alikabok sa silid.”

Subalit nanatili itong nakaupo. Namagitan sa kanila ang
katahimikan ng matagal hanggang sa magsalita ito.

“Cindy…”

Natigilan siya sa narinig. Ganoon na lang ang pagsalsal ng tibok
ng dibdib. Mabilis niyang inalis ang kumot nang marinig ang boses
na iyon. Ilang beses siyang napakurap. Hindi nga siya

nagkakamali, si Redjonito nga ang nakaupo sa gilid ng kama niya.
Tila hindi siya makapaniwalang nasa tabi lang niya ang binata.
Her mouth opened up but she couldn’t say anything. For a long
time she just stared at him, wanting to hug him but stopped
herself. Until she finally found her voice.

“A-Ano’ng g-ginagawa mo rito?” she sounded so broken… well,
she is. Ilang sandali pa’y nanubig ulit ang mga mata niya. Does
Redjonito know how much she has gone through loving him? Does
he even care? She doesn’t want him to see how she’s hurting.

Mariin niyang kinagat ang labi para pigilan ang paghikbi. Ang
sakit-sakit ng dibdib niya. At hindi niya alam kung papaano ito

haharapin at magkunwaring okay lang ang lahat sa kanya.
Redjonito looked at Cindy. He just realized how much he missed
her that it pains him to just sit there and do nothing. But he’s in
point blank. Hindi niya alam kung saan magsisimula, kung

papaano sisimulan. Kung tama pa ba ang pag-iisip niya o tuluyan
na siyang nabaliw dahil sa pag-ibig para sa dalaga dahil handa
siyang sumunod sa kahit na anong gustuhin nito.

“I forgot something,” pormal na sabi niya. He tried to breathe hard.
The pain stings… I forgot that my heart is with you and I couldn’t live
a damn day without it, gusto niyang sabihin. Humugot siya ng

malalim na hininga. “I forgot…” Napalunok siya dahil tila may
bumikig sa lalamunan niya.

“What?” anito na naghihintay ng sasabihin niya.
“I forgot that my heart is with you and I couldn’t live a damn day
without it,” nasabi niya. He didn’t stutter. He finally said it. Nakita
niyang napaawang ang bibig nito. “So if you ask how I was the
past three days, I was barely breathing. I wasn’t even sure if I was
really living. Dahil…” Naramdaman niyang nanginig ang labi niya.
He held back his tears. “Dahil hindi ko pala kayang malayo sa’yo.”
tapat na sabi niya. Tila may pumiga sa dibdib niya nang

humulagpos ang luha sa mga mata nito. “Kaya okay lang…”
aniyang mapait na ngumiti. Napahugot siya ng hininga. “Kahit
anong gusto mo, okay lang.” He sounded desperate. Because he is
desperate. He tried moving on. But it was impossible. Dahil bawat
segundo, nararamdaman niya ang sakit. And he would give up

everything just to be with her. Even if they’d be faking, it’s okay as
long as he got her. Kahit hindi na siya nito mahalin basta pwede
niya itong mahalin. Okay lang. He doesn’t care about anything

anymore. He doesn’t want to care for anything but Cindy. Kaya
kahit masakit na papakasalan lang siya nito dahil sa pera,

tatanggapin niya dahil wala ng sasakit pa sa bawat araw na hindi
niya ito kasama. He’ll have to grab the chance to be with her. If
she finally leaves her, that’s when he will mourn. But now, he’ll
take the risk.

“Ano’ng okay lang? Pwede ba Redjonito, hindi kita maintindihan!”
Inabot niya ang espayong nasa pagitan nila at niyakap niya ito ng
mahigpit. He felt the hollow in his heart slowly filling in when he
held her. God, he missed this. This closeness that makes his every
breath worthwhile. He expected her to push him back but she

didn’t so he hugged her tighter. “Hindi ko kayang malayo sa’yo,
Cindy. Hindi ko kayang dalhin ang bigat sa dibdib.” Hinalikan niya
ang buhok nito. “Please give me a chance to be with you. Gagawin
ko ang lahat mapasaya ka lang. Kung gugustuhin mo ng

magpakasal kay Lemuel, hindi kita pipigilan. Pero hayaan mo
muna akong mahalin ka. Kahit saglit lang.”

Galit na itinulak siya ng dalaga. “Bakit naman ako magpapakasal
sa kanya?!” sigaw nito. “Tanga ka ba talaga, Redjonito o sadyang
manhid ka lang? Hindi ako magpapakasal sa kanya dahil unang-una,
wala na kami. Pangalawa, hindi ko siya mahal. Pangatlo,
dahil ikaw ang mahal ko!” anito at tuluyang humulagpos ang luha
sa mata. “Do you have any idea how difficult it is to love you? I
begged you not to leave me pero iniwan mo pa rin ako, alam mo
ba kung gaano kahirap ang lahat nang umalis ka? You broke my
heart, and now you’re telling me you love me? Ano ba talaga?
Nasasaktan ako, Redjonito! At nalilito na ako sa’yo!” puno ng
paghihirap ang mata nito.

He wanted to kill himself that instant. He finds it hard to digest
what he just heard. It’s far different from what he expected.

Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa dalaga. “Y-You love me?”
Kinagat nito ng mariin ang labi. Pigil-pigil ang hikbi. “You already
knew that, didn’t you? I told you how I felt for you that day you left
me. Dahil ayoko ng magpanggap. Dahil totoo na lahat ng

nararamdaman ko sa’yo. Dahil gusto kong malaman kung kaya
mo rin ba akong mahalin dahil ako, mahal kita. But you got mad.
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit. I thought… I thought you could
like me. Kahit konti lang. But you left me without even hearing me
out…” Pinahid nito ang luha.

“I thought you were lying… I thought… I saw you kissing Lemuel.”
Natigilian ito. “You saw that?” anito na biglang bumaba ang tinig.
Tumango siya, pinilit itago ang sakit sa dibdib. “He kissed me. But i
did not kiss him back. You could ask Maricar. She saw everything.”
“Wynona told me you’ve planned on marrying me and divorce me
afterwards after…” He cursed under his breath, now he just

realized, why didn’t he think that Wynona could lie?

“After I get your money?” bumalot ang sakit sa mata nito. May
inabot ito sa drawer. It’s the twenty million check. “I told you don’t
need this.”

Umiling siya. Niyapos niya ulit ng mahigpit ang dalaga. “I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I was too hurt. Too damn jealous.
I was losing my mind that time after what I saw and heard.”

“Sana sinabi mo,” anitong gumaralgal ang tinig. “I thought you
were mad when I told you I love you. I thought you can’t just love
me back that’s why you left. I thought you’re back with your ex. I
was going crazy with all those thoughts, Redjonito,” anitong impit
na napahikbi.

It’s too much. Kinabig niya ito at buong pagmamahal itong
hinalikan. Her tears is breaking him apart. Niyakap niya ito ng
mahigpit. This is what he needs. He loves her so much and it hurts
him more now seeing how hurt she is for loving him. How could
he do that to the only woman he loves?

THIS isn’t a dream. Kumbinsi ni Cindy sa sarili habang yakap-yakap
at buong-pusong tumutugon sa bawat halik at haplos ng binata.
Redjonito is kissing her like he missed her as much as she missed
him. Kapwa sila naghahabol ng hininga nang maghiwalay ang
mga labi. She can’t help her tears but fall. She just loves Redjonito
so much.

“I missed you so much,” anito at niyakap siya ng buong higpit. “I’m
sorry if I hurt you, Cindy.”

Gumanti siya ng yakap. Nang angkinin nitong muli ang labi niya’y
hindi siya tumutol. She missed him so much, too. No words could
ever describe how much. All she knows is that she doesn’t want
to let him go. She will never let him go.

When the kiss ended they were both in tears. Something tugged
Cindy’s heart. It must’ve been hard for Redjonito after what

Wynona could’ve told him.

“You believed in Wynona’s lies, huh?” bakas ang hinanakit sa tinig
niya.

“I was damn too hurt to even think of anything else, Cindy. I was in
so much pain after what I saw. A huge part of me is hoping

against hope that Wynona was lying. I never want to believe in
that. But that is the one closest to reality. Because I never thought
you’d love me. And that was painful, Cindy. That was really

painful.”

Her heart sank as she saw the pain in his eyes. And she found
herself sobbing, not because of the hurt she feels for herself but
for what Redjonito had been through. Redjonito loves her.

Kinabig siya ni Redjonito at niyakap ng mahigpit. “I’m so sorry I
believed in her lies. I’ll make sure she’s gonna pay for this.”
Hindi na siya nagsalita pa. She could feel his anger. She just
wants to savor this moment being held by him. She felt coming
back into life when she saw him. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

aniyang sumiksik sa dibdib nito. She missed this kind of comfort
only Redjonito can give her.

“I just can’t bear to lose you,” anitong nakatitig sa mukha niya.
“You are the best there is in my life,Cindy. So I took the risk of
coming back. I’ve always longed to be with you. Since the first day
we met… when we were yet young. I have loved you. And I never
stopped loving you since then. And I don’t wanna stop. I can bear
the pain of loving you, but living without you is impossible. Not
now that I knew how it felt to be really alive being with you.”
“You love me since w-we were young?” tanong niyang hindi
makapaniwala.

Tumango ito.
“I’m M-Miss CC?”
Ngumiti ito saka muling tumango.
Unti-unti lumabo ang paningin niya. That’s why all those scenes
were familiar. Napatingin siya kay Redjonito. May payatot na

binatang nandoon palagi kasama ng crush niya. Si Ace ang
matinee idol ng school na crush ng lahat ng girls at gays sa
school. She used to follow where Ace goes. And now she

remembers, that time they showed off skateboarding,
napapalakpak siya sa galing ni Ace. At nang ang payatot na binata
na’y hindi na niya masyadong napansin. Nabaling lang ang pansin
nila nang bumagsak ito at dumugo ang baba nang tumama sa

sementadong daan. She just felt sorry for him and didn’t bother to
give him a second look dahil takot siya sa dugo. And during that
karate try out, napapalakpak siya dahil si Ace ang nagpatumba sa
payatot na binata na ka-sparring nito. He was rushed to the

hospital and she cared less. And during that cheerdance, they
were so happy they won. Ace was the star player then, she never
took time who’s inside the mascot. Sumikip ang dibdib niya. Tila
hindi niya makayanan ang sakit na nararamdaman ng dibdib niya.
Redjonito had gone through so much pain loving her. She wished
she had noticed him way back then… because she right now, she
felt so sorry for the times she wasn’t able to spend with him.

Bumalong ang luha sa mga mata niya. She threw herself on him
and hugged him tight. And she cried so hard in his arms. She

remembered the night he proposed and the night he confessed
his love for his first love. His life almost revolved around her. It’s
not a coincidence that he knew a lot about her. So he wasn’t

pretending, was he? Those kisses, the warm hugs, those were
real. Those ‘I love yous’. The proposal. Everything was real after
all. And she felt that pain she felt when Redjonito confessed her
feelings for his first love. Tila pinipiga ang puso niya sa sinabi nito.
Hearing Redjonito now, her hurt seemed nothing compared to

what he feels. He had loved her for so long. So very long. That’s
why he knew her favorite flower and her favorite chocolate.

That’s why he seemed to have known her for so long… because
he did knew her by heart.

“Ang sama-sama mo,” aniyang pinaghahampas ito habang
walang tigil ang hikbi. “Matagal mo na pala akong mahal, bakit

hindi mo man lang sinabi?”
“Hindi mo ba naramdaman iyon? Araw-araw ginagawa ko ang
lahat mapasaya ka lang. How could you not know?”

“Yeah, but you never said you love me! You always made me feel
that you didn’t like me. That it’s impossible for you to love me

because I’m just a pretty face. Na kahit anong gawin ko, hindi mo
ako magugustuhan. That I am nothing but a woman after your ten
million. I even begged for you to love me Redjonito. But you left

me! Do you know how I felt that night? I felt rejected! Pakiramdam
ko naghahabol ako sa isang taong takbo ng takbo! How in the

world would I know?”

“I stopped because I couldn’t do it… Because I took advantage of
you. I love you so much that I didnt want you to make decisions
you would regret. Do you know how hard was that? Do you have
any idea how painful was that?” Nahilamos nito ang mukha

pagkuwa’y napatitig sa kanya. “All my life, all I ever wanted was
love you. I’ve dreamed of kissing you, of making love to you. But I
just didn’t do it because I wasn’t sure about your feelings for me. I
don’t want you to hate me. That’s why I stopped. Even when I
wanted to kill myself after that.”

Her heart is filled so much emotion she couldn’t contain. “Hug
me,” aniya sa pagitan ng hikbi.

“I am hugging you.”

“Tighter.” aniya at sumandal sa dibdib nito. Niyakap siya ito ng
buong higpit at umiyak siya sa dibdib nito. Redjonito loves her like
no other man can or could ever do. She felt the kind of happiness
that is so rare she just wants to cry. She’s so happy and so sad for
all that Redjonito went through just because of loving her. “I’m so

sorry for all the pains I’ve caused you,” aniyang hinaplos ang
mukha nito. “It was not easy loving me, was it?”

“It wasn’t easy but you don’t need to be sorry. You are the best
thing that ever happened to me, Cindy. You made me feel that kind
of happiness that I never felt for anyone. You are worth every

emotion. My life had its full worth when I started to love you. And
I loved every moment of it.”

Ngumiti siya. Muling tumulo ang luha. “I wished I had met you
when I was younger. I wished I realized that soon that I was in
love with you. Because I feel the same way, Redjonito. I never
thought I could feel an emotion as strong as this. I wished I’ve
loved you before because this feeling I am feeling right now is
something worth keeping forever. I’ve never loved anyone as
much as I love you. I’ve come to realize that my life won’t be
complete without you so please, promise me you won’t ever leave
me again.” Hinawakan niyang muli ang mukha nito. And she could
smile staring at the most handsome face she wants to stare

forever. “I love you so much.”

Redjonito’ eyes were misty. Nanginginig ang labi nitong tinitigan
ang dalaga. Those were the loveliest words he heard in his whole
life. “I love you more, Cindy. Yesterday, today and every tomorrow, I
know my love will remain the same. You don’t know how you

made me happy today. I’m so glad I came back. I thought

anywhere far from you would be better. But I felt like hell. I
couldn’t stand being away from you. Missing you was one thing I
don’t want to go through again. I promise I will never leave you. I
won’t let anyone come between us anymore. I will always believe
in you no matter what happens.”

“Neither would I. Hindi ko hahayaang iwanan mo ako ulit. Dahil
mahal kita. Mahal na mahal na mahal kita.”

 

“Keep saying that,” anitong inangkin ang labi niya. Gumanti siya
ng halik. She kissed him like the way she did when he told her
aboit his first love. Kapwa sila humihingal nang maghiwalay ang
labi nila. Redjonito stared at her and smiled knowingly. Umangat
ang kilay niya.

“You’ve kissed me like this before,” anito. “When did you realize
you love me?”

Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi niya. “H-Hindi ko alam…”
aniyang napa-isip. He’s staring at her more, enjoying her stutter.
“But I’m quite sure hindi siya love at first sight.”

Tumawa ito. Nahawa siya. She missed the sound of their laughter
together. And without a word, Redjonito kissed her again.

“Maybe when I realized that life is so much better with you,” aniya
pagkatapos ng halik. “And that realization started when you tried
to protect me from Wynona. The feeling went stronger everytime
we’re together. I just feel so happy when I’m with you. Mahal na
mahal na mahal kita, Redjonito Mondervin.” buong pusong sambit
niya. “Kaya please, huwag mo na akong iiwan ulit. Kasi ang sakit-sakit
dito,” aniyang itinuro ang dibdib.
Napangiti ito at masuyong hinagkan ang noo niya.“And I love you
more and more and more Cindy Ramirez. The last thing I’d ever do
is to leave you. Not now when I know you love me too.”

Napangiti siya. She feels so happy her heart would burst any
minute.

“Marry me,” bigla’y sabay na sambit nila.
He looked stunned for a while. And his eyes got misty. And she
was in tears too. Bigla itong tumayo sa kama at inilahad ang

kamay sa kanya. “Let’s get married now,” seryosong sambit nito.
Namilog ang mga mata niya.

“Hindi pa ako naliligo,” aniya. Inamoy siya nito. “Okay naman, ah.”
Napatawa siya. Ibibigay na sana niya ang kamay nang may

maalala. “Paano si Melinda?”

“I told you, it’s over between us. I loved her. And I,”
“Don’t give second chances,” pagtatapos niya sa sasabihin nito.
“Right,” anito.

“Didn’t you just give me a second chance?” aniyang nakatikwas
ang kilay.

Natigilan ito saka napangiti. “I guess you just break all the rules,
Cindy. I love you and I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved
you. But you, are you gonna marry someone as ugly as me?”
Hinawakan niya ang mukha nito at buong pagmamahal na
tinitigan saka pinupog ng halik. “May magagawa pa ba ako kung
mahal na kita?” aniya at tinitigan ito. Her heartbeat is beating
wild. She never felt so fully alive. “I love you. I love the way you
look. I love everything about you. Since then, I never see any
ugliness in you. So yes, kahit pangit ka sa mata ng iba,

magpapakasal ako sa’yo dahil mahal na mahal kita Redjonito.”
Tila kinikilig na napangiti ito saka siniil ng halik ang labi niya. “Let’s
get married then,” anitong muling inilahad ang mga kamay.

She’s ready for it. He’s all that she wants and all she’ll ever need.
Ibinigay niya ang kamay.

treasure the woman that he loves in his heart for always.
The moment they held hands, they both knew they will hold
hands forever.

***THE END***
Dearest Readers,
Thank you so much for the time you have spent for reading
Redjonito and Cindy’s love story. Sana na-inlove kayo kahit
papaano. Salamat sa nag-give up ng gils para lamang

mabasa ang kuwentong ito. Sa mga naghintay every chapter,
sorry if hindi ko kayo napagbigyan kahit bumaha na ng

‘pleaseee next chap na please!’ may schedule po kasi tayong
sinusunod kaya ipagpaumanhin ninyo kung nabitin kayo ng
ilang araw. I know how hard it is to wait. I just hope this
was worth every wait. At sa mga walang sawang nagbibigay
ng komento. It makes me smile reading all your comments.
Kung nag-aabang kayo ng next chapter, nag-aabang ako ng
comments. Every writer hopes for nice feedbacks, but it is
so much better if they are honest feedbacks. So don’t

hesitate giving out your comments. It makes us feel happy
and fulfilled, it makes us grow and become better.

This story is actually a risk. It’s a different one. Dahil
kailanman, wala pang bidang pangit. Pangit talaga si
Redjonito. But Cindy fell in love with him. Because Beauty isn’t
everything, LOVE IS. Ganoon kasimple, at ganoon kalalim.

What you see beyond ones’ appearance is what mattered
most. I also believe that all of us are created beautiful. May
more at most beautiful nga lang, but all of us are beautiful.
Kaya hindi imposible ang storyang ito na mangyari sa

totoong buhay.

 

So much for that, I wanna thank my TOP family for allowing
me to post another story. They have always believed in me
and I am so grateful for each opportunity to share my

stories. Sana patuloy ninyong suportahan ang TOP.
God bless us all!

Muli, ang aking lubos na pasasalamat,
Frdp
Frdp
“I write for a cause… and that cause is LOVE.”

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 11 – Tagalog Online Pocketbook

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 11

BY Frdp

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF
Redjonito had been restless all day. He keeps going to and fro.
Hindi siya mapakali. He knows he needs to do something. He’s
just unsure of what to do. Hindi niya alam kung saan magsisimula
at hindi niya alam kung papaano sisimulan. Ang alam niya,

 

mauubos na ang oras niya’t nakakaramdam na siya ng takot dahil
wala pa siyang ginagawa.

Panic. That’s all he feels. Malapit nang matapos ang isang buwan
at kailangan na niyang tuparin ang parte niya sa kasunduan nila
ng dalaga. Kailangan na niyang bumalik ng London. This is the
part he dreaded the most. Because he didn’t want to leave. He will
never want to leave the woman he loved all his life. He even

feared closing his eyes at night and wake up to that day he has to
say goodbye. Because that day will be the end of him and he

doesn’t know how to deal with the pain. What if he asks Cindy if he
could stay? Papayag kaya ito? Paano kung aminin na niya ang

totoong nararamdaman niya? Will he stand a chance? Or will she
be mad?

Marahas na hinagod niya ang buhok. Somehow he needs to tell
her the truth. It’s his only option. He can’t just leave without

trying. For so long he had kept his feelings for her because of fear.
But he had to tell her now or he will never get rid of what ifs and if
onlys all throughout his life.

Excited and nervous, he went to the Flap. He kept rehearsing the
lovely words he’d tell her. Ayaw niyang nauutal. Gusto niyang
malaman ni Cindy kung gaano niya ito kamahal. Ngunit napatda
siya sa eksenang nadatnan. Hindi niya magawang maihakbang
ang mga paa. Ilang beses siyang napakurap para lang

makumpirma ang nakikita. Cindy is making out with Lemuel.
Biglang gumuho lahat ng pangarap niya. Mabilis siyang tumalikod
bago pa niya hilahin at bugbugin ang lalaking kahalikan ng fiancee
niya. He wanted to kill Lemuel that instant. But what right does
he have? He isn’t the real fiance. So Cindy still loves her ex? Ayaw
niyang sagutin ang tanong na iyon. Pakiramdam niya’y tinarakan
siya ng libu-libong punyal sa dibdib. Hindi siya makahinga sa

 

sobrang sakit.
“Saw that lovely scene too?”
Halos bumangga siya sa taong nakaharang sa daraanan niya. Si
Wynona iyon. Her eyes had the same sadness. She didn’t have to
speak to let him know how she feels. Nakuyom niya ang kamao.
Gusto niyang sugurin ng suntok ang hayup na Lemuel na iyon.
“Do you want me to cripple him for you?”

Ngumiti ito ng mapait. “I know you can’t do that, Kuya. Unless you
want to hurt Cindy.”

Hindi siya sumagot.
“So, you’ve fallen for her? I won’t wonder why though,”
makahulugan nitong sabi. “But I just hope you won’t fall for that
bitch’s trap.”

“Wynona,” aniyang may warning ang tono ng boses.
Tumawa ito. “You saw your fiancee kissing her ex and you still
protect her?”

“I don’t have time for this,” aniya at akmang tatalikuran ang
pinsan nang muli itong magsalita.

“I heard them talk about the ten-million deal.” Natigilan siya at
napatingin dito. Umangat ang isang sulok ng bibig nito. “The
reason why you can’t hurt Lemuel is because you and Cindy are
just faking, right?”

Naumid ang dila niya. How did Wynona know?
“I overheard them. Your fiancee said that ten million is not enough
and plans on seducing you to make you marry her and divorce you

after she gets your money. And after that, they will marry. That’s
what they planned all this time. I was lucky I figured it out before it
was too late. I just felt that Lemuel is not really in love with me

kaya hiniwalayan ko siya. Now, I know the truth and I was right all
along. I see you’re falling for her already, Kuya. Too bad, niloloko ka
lang magaling mong fiancee.”

He can’t stand hearing those things anymore. Iniwanan niya ang
pinsan. He felt cheated. He felt betrayed. In one moment Cindy
was able to make him feel furious, frustrated, and miserable. He
thought he’ll just deal with a broken heart. Now, all of him is

breaking. Even his own soul is shattered. How could Cindy do this
to him? He trusted her! Hindi niya alam kung ano ang nais niyang
maramdaman sa pagkakataong iyon. The pain is just too great to
bear. And once more, he felt that same old feeling again he felt
way back before… he felt like he never want to take the next
breath anymore.

BINILISAN ni Cindy ang lakad. Kaagad siyang pumara ng traysikel at
nagpahatid sa pad ng binata, Ayaw niyang mag-isip ng masama
pero hindi niya maiwasang maisip na baka may kung ano’ng

nangyari rito. Redjonito would never let her worry. Hindi siya
matatahimik hangga’t hindi niya nakukumpirmang okay ito.
Nagtaka siya nang makita ang sasakyan nito sa parking lot.
Muling sinalakay ng kaba ang dibdib niya. Nagmamadali siyang
pumanhik sa hagdan. Ilang beses siyang kumatok bago bumukas
ang pinto.

“You’re here” malamig na bati nito nang mapagbuksan siya ng
pinto. Something is really wrong. He looked sober. Like he had
been crying.

Hahalikan sana niya ito pero umiwas ito. “You’re drunk,” pansin
niya nang maamoy ang hininga nito. “May problema ba?” nag

aalalang tanong niya pero wala iting tugon. Pagpasok niya sa
sala’y tila itinulos siya sa kinatatayuan nang makitang may
malaking maleta na naroroon.

“Y-You’ve packed,” aniya. She felt a lump on her throat and
suddenly it felt so painful to swallow.

“Yeah,” tipid na sagot nito.

“Aalis ka na?” aniyang halos hindi lumabas sa bibig.
“Tomorrow.” tipid na sagot nito na tila ba napag-usapan na nila
iyon.

Kumunot ang noo niya. Bakit masyadong biglaan ang desisyon
nito? At bakit tila galit ito sa kanya? What the hell happened
today? Wala siyang maalalang pwedeng maging dahilan ng
pakikitungo nito sa kanya. “Masyado yatang biglaan? May
problema ba?” tanong niya ulit. Hindi niya makayanan ang
malamig na pakikitungo nito. “Let’s talk about it.”

“I don’t have time, Cindy. I’d be glad if you’d leave,” anito pagkuwa’y
may kinuha ibabaw ng mesa at iniabot sa kanya. “Here’s your

check. I doubled the amount for a job well done. That should be
enough,” anitong may sarkasmo ang tinig. “I think there’s nothing
we need to talk about.”

Bumuka ang bibig niya pero wala siyang maapauhap na salita.
Napatingin siya sa tsekeng hawak. Why has Redjonito suddenly
become a stranger?

“You decide when to break our engagement. Any day is fine.
You’re free to marry whenever you want.”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Pero hindi iyan ang napag-usapan natin,”

nagugulumihang sabi niya. “Can you just explain to me why you’re
suddenly like this?”

“Explain the obvious?” anitong bakas ang hinanakit sa tinig.
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about,” aniyang pinipilit
magpakahinahon.

“I’m just giving you what you need. Even when we marry I don’t
think I can give you more than twenty million.”

Lalo lang siyang naguluhan sa sinabi nito. “I never asked for
twenty million!” aniyang hindi napigilan ang pagtaas ng boses. “I
don’t need that! Could you stop being like this and talk to me?

Hindi kita maintindihan! Bakit ba bigla ka na lang

nagkakaganyan?”

“Let’s stop all these pretensions, Cindy. I knew why you came
here.” mariing sabi nito. There’s so much bitterness in his voice
and she’s so clueless what’s happening to him. “I knew what
you’re gonna say and I…” umiling-iling ito. Her heart ached with
the sadness she saw in his eyes. “I can’t do it. I can’t do what you
want.”

She felt a huge lump in her throat that when she tried to swallow,
it was so painful that it stings her eyes. “Y-You knew?” Tila

tinutusok ng libu-libong karayom ang dibdib niya. Hindi napigilan
ang pagbagsak ng luha. “Y-You mean, you can’t love me back?”
Umiling-iling ito. “That’s enough,” walang emosyong sabi nito.
“You’ve had enough.” Hinawakan nito ang siko niya at marahas
na pinalabas siya sa pinto.

“Redjonito!” sigaw niya. Nagulat siya nang halos kaladkadrin siya
nito palabas.

 

“You have no idea how far you’ve gone hurting me, Cindy. Please,
just leave.” mariing sabi nito sabay abot sa kanya ng tseke at

pinagsarhan siya ng pinto.

Buong lakas na kinatok niya ang pinto gamit ang dalawang
kamay. Hindi maampat ang pagtulo ng luha niya. Kahit anong isip
ang gawin niya, hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit nangyayari ito
sa kanila.

“Redjonito! Buksan mo ‘to, mag-usap tayo!”
Pero ilang minuto na siyang nakatayo roon, namamaos na ang
boses niya, masakit na ang kamay niya. Talagang wala itong
planong pagbuksan siya. Tila mabibiyak ang ulo niya sa kakaisip.
Why would he be mad if she fell in love with him? Kasalanan na
bang magmahal ngayon? Napipigilan ba iyon? God knows she
didn’t mean to fall in love with him! Kung magagawa lang niyang
pigilan, pinigilan na niya. Pinahid niya ang luha niya. How could
Redjonito be so unfair? Nang matantong hindi talaga siya

pagbubuksan ng binata’y bagsak ang balikat na lumisan siya sa
lugar na iyon. Pero hindi niya alam kung saan pupunta. She can’t
stop herself from crying and she doesn’t want her mother to see
her like this again.

MULING tinungga ni Redjonito ang bote ng alak. Tumigil na sa
pagkatok ang dalaga. Tinangka niyang pigilan ang sariling ihatid
ito ng tingin pero hindi niya kaya. Even when he’s mad at her, he
can’t help but care. Everything is just sweet torture. Hindi niya
napigilan ang paghulagpos ng luha. Marahas niyang pinahid iyon.
He tried to drive off the kissing scene he just witnessed pero

imposible iyon. It’s just too much. The pain is just too much to
bear. Everything has been perfect. He cursed under his breath

when he remembered what Wynona said. Kaya pala… Those
kisses weren’t real after all. The care in her voice. The feeling that
she misses him. Those were nothing but pretensions. And he was
so dense to see that. And it’s even more painful dahil umasa siya.
Ang laki niyang tanga! Now, everything made sense. And he’s so
stupid to even notice because he loves her…all his life all he did
was love her.

Tila sasabog ang ulo niya sa iniisip. Inubos niya ang alak na nasa
basong hawak. Humapdi iyon nang dumaan sa lalamunan niya.
Just like before, back when he was so young and so in love, he
cried. He cried because it has again sinked in that Cindy can never
ever truly love her. And he sobbed. Because he loves 43

Cindy so
much.And just as he felt before, his whole life is breaking apart…
Just then the doorbell rang. He didn’t want to open it. Pero

lumagitik ang serdaura ng pinto. Napapikit siya. Alam na niya kung
sino ang dumating. Why do people always come in the wrong

time?

“Honey, dear I’m home!” bati nito pero natigilan sa ayos niya.
“Wrong timing, huh?” Inilapag nito ang maletang hawak at
nilapitan siya.

“Please leave, Melinda,” aniya. Subalit nakatingin lang ito sa
kanya. Pagkuwa’y kumuha ng baso at nagsalin ng alak at
sinamahan siyang uminom. Hindi na siya nagsalita pa.
PINUNTAHAN ni Cindy si Maricar. Pinayuhan siya ng kaibigan na
palipasin muna ang sitwasyon. Namamaga na ang mata niya sa
kakaiyak pero hindi pa rin maampat ang pagtulo ngluha. Natatakot

siyang tuluyang umalis si Redjonito nang hindi sila nagkakaayos.
Hindi niya alam kung bakit ito galit sa kanya. Pero kung nakita
nitong hinalikan siya ni Lemuel, baka iyon ang dahilan.

Nang mailabas niya lahat ng hinanakit sa dibdib ay bumalik siya
sa pad ng binata para magpaliwanag. Alam niyang hindi siya nito
pagbubuksan kaya sa labas siya maghihintay hanggang bumukas
iyon. Pinag-isipan niya kung ano ang dapat sabihin. Kailangang
maintindihan ni Redjonito ang lahat. She prayed so hard that she
would listen to him. He has to listen to her. He has to understand
her. Because she doesn’t know what more she can take if

Redjonito would continue hating her. She had never seen him so
furious, so upset, so hurt. And she can’t stand seeing him like that.
Napaupo siya’t napasandal sa pinto, yakap ang dalawang tuhod.
Kahit hindi na siya nito mahalin basta hindi ito galit sa kanya.
Parang may pumiga sa puso niya sa huling naisip. She never
thought it would hurt this much. Namamaga na ang mata niya sa
kakaiyak. She even never cried this much. Not even when she
learned that Lemuel has been cheating on her. Now is different.
Parang mabibiyak ang dibdib niya sa sakit. At hindi maampat ang
luha niya kahit tila buong gabi na siyang umiiyak.

She waited for what seems to be forever. Hindi siya nakatulog
buong magdamag. Hanggang sa mag-uumaga na, naghintay lang
siya. Napatayo siya bigla nang bumukas ang pinto.

“What are you doing here?” Halatang nabiglang tanong nito.
Nakabihis na ito. He’s wearing dark pair of shades kaya hindi niya
makita ang emosyon nito. He just looked cool and fresh while she
looked like a dirty, overused and smelly rag.

“We need to talk.” aniyang paos ang tinig.

“I have a flight to catch besides whatever it is, I don’t think I’d like
to listen.” paangil na sagot nito.

“But, Redjonito, please let me explain.”
“Whatever you say won’t change anything,” anito na tila humiwa
sa dibdib niya. She could hear the resignation in his voice.

“What if it does?” aniyang halos pumiyok ang tinig. She isn’t
leaving this place without a fight.

Inilabas nito ang dalawang maleta pagkuwa’y hinarap siya. “Okay,
you have a minute.”

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. “I don’t want you to leave,”
aniyang kinagat ang labi para mapigilan ang paghikbi. “I will never
be the same if you leave me, Redjonito. I don’t know what

happened yesterday but if you could just tell me, I can explain. If
you saw-” Natigil siya sa pagsasalita nang may babaeng lumabas
sa pinto. Hindi lang basta babae. Magandang babae. Napatitig siya
rito. Nginangatngat ng paninibugho ang dibdib niya. Her stupid

eyes were stinging again.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” anang malamyos na tinig ng babae
na lumabas na rin ng pintuan. Nagtaka ito nang makita siya. “Hi, I
didn’t know we have company.”

“She’s not coming with us,” ani Redjonito.
Napatingin siya sa dalawa. She didn’t expect this! May kasama si
Redjonito sa buong magdamag? Lemuel did this to her before. The
second time shouldn’t hurt. Pero bakit ganito? Bakit gusto niyang
magwala? Bakit mas masakit?

“You’re minute is up,” anang binata at tinalikuran siya’t ni-lock na

 

ang pad.
“Oh, you’re that fiancee.” anang babae. “I’m Melinda, by the way.”
Kinagat niya ng mariin ang labi pero hindi niya napigilan ang

paghulagpos ng luha. Mabilis niyang pinahid iyon. There’s no use
saying what she has to say. It seems that Redjonito had already
made up his mind. It seems he has patched things up with his ex-girlfriend.
“I-I can see you’re happy.” aniya kay Redjonito na tila may bikig sa
lalamunan.

“Yes, very.” sagot nito.
“Have a safe trip then,” aniyang nagsisimulang gumaralgal ang
tinig. “And have a good life.”

Redjonito just stood there, looking at her. Hindi niya alam kung
nakatingin ito sa kanya dahil sa sunglasses na suot nito.

“Goodbye, Cindy.” anito at tuluyang tinalikuran siya. Pinigilan niya
ang sariling mapahikbi. Kinagat niya ng mariin ang labi. Nang

makaalis na ang dalawa’y saka lang niya pinakawalan ang
emosyong nakatago sa dibdib niya. For the first time in a long long
time, she cried so hard that she desperately want to be hugged by
her mom. She felt so helpless. And she’s hurting so much.

“YOU’RE not leaving. Go talk to that girl.” ani Melinda sabay bawi
ng boarding pass niya.

“It’s over.” matigas na sabi niya.
“You’re crying. She’s crying. That’s something. Now go!”
Naramdaman niyang namasa ang gilid ng mga mata. His own
miserable heart is breaking and he can’t do anything about it.

“Stop that, Melinda. I’ve been giving myself false hopes, and
where did it led me? On this plane. So I need to get on this plane!”
“You’re just leaving without clarifying things? Her tears meant
something! It’s not a false hope, Redjonito!”

“I can’t stand the pain anymore! She doesn’t love me and you
don’t know what I went through just to accept that. I need to get
away from her because anywhere near her stirs up the pain inside
me. So for the millionth time, I need to get on this plane.”

Napabuga ng hininga si Melinda. “It’s so you, Redjonito. You never
listen. You are always moved by your emotions.”

“Oh, come on, Melinda.”

“This is the very reason we broke up. I admit that I cheated on you.
But I loved you and you can never deny the fact that you never

loved me.”

“This has nothing to do with us!”
“That girl is the reason why you didn’t love me. She’s basically the
reason why I cheated on you. So this has everything to do with us.
You’re not gonna board that plane. Go talk to Cindy!”

“That girl doesn’t love me, Melinda. So please, out of my way.”
aniyang mabilis na binawi ang boarding pass at nilampasan ito.
They have no idea what kind of pain he’s going through right now.
And nobody will ever understand. Unless somebody has loved as
much as he loved Cindy… then that somebody would understand
why he had to leave. Why he wanted to escape…badly… because
literally, the pain is unbearable. It’s killing him slowly every damn
minute. And there’ll be nothing left of him if he stays… nothing.

Author’s Note:
Salamat sa masugid ninyong pagsubaybay sa kuwento ni
Redjonito at Cindy. Sa Monday na po ang last chapter.

Pasensiya na kung kailangan ninyong maghintay ng isang linggo.
May posting schedule po kasi tayo sa lahat ng bagong nobela.
Alam kong maiintindihan ninyo. Case sensitive po ang

password/hudyat. Ibig sabihin, nagsisimula siya sa malaking
titik. At exactly 3:35 pm po ang sched ng posting para hindi
kayo maghintay.

Hanggang sa huling kabanata,
Frdp

Frdp
“I write for a cause… and that cause is LOVE.”

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 10 – Tagalog Online Pocketbook

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF Chapter 10
By Frdp

HABANG nanonood sila ng palabas ay may isang dipang pagitan
sa kanila. Kanina pa niya napapansin na ayaw ng binatang

mapalapit sa kanya. He avoided all the chance that they can be
intimate. Parang timang. Pakiramdam tuloy niya, patay na patay

2

siya rito. Nagkatinginan sila nang magpang-abot ang kamay nila
sa bowl ng popcorn.

“Sorry,” anitong tila napaso at kinuha ang kamay. Gusto niyang
kutusan ito. And it occurred to her, why did he stop? She begged
for him to love her. But he suddenly stopped. Ano bang nasa isip
ng unggoy na ‘to?

Pareho silang napatingin sa labas nang biglang bumuhos ang
malakas na ulan. Nanlaki ang mata niya nang maalala ang bubong
sa kusina’t bigla siyang napatayo. Nakalimutan niya ang bowl ng
popcorn na hawak-hawak at natapon iyon sa sahig pero wala na
siyang panahon na pulutin iyon.

“Take care of it!” aniya kay Redjonito at patakbong tinungo ang
kusina. Nagsisimula ng tumulo malapit sa kalan kaya mabilis
niyang kinuha ang kaldero at inilagay doon. Kinuha niya ang balde
at palanggana at inilagay iyon sa lahat ng parteng may tulo. Halos
lahat yata ng parte may tulo. Kaagad niyang tinanggal ang plug ng
ref dahil baka mag-ground iyon.

“Need help?” ani Redjonito na hindi malaman kung tatayo roon o
tatakbo palapit sa kanya. Halatang nakatulog na ang Mama niya
ng mahimbing dahil hindi ito nagising.

“It’s okay. Kaya ko na ‘to.” Napatingala siya. Marami na palang
butas. Plano naman niya talagang ipaayos ang bubong, nawala
lang sa isip niya sa dami ng nangyayari sa buhay niya. Biglang
may pumatak na tubig sa noo niya. Mabilis niya iniusog ang
palanggana. Talagang sobrang lakas ng ulan. Madaling

nangalahati ang mga sisidlan ng tubig kaya kinailangan pa niyang
itapon iyon sa lababo. Nagulat siya nang biglang umangat ang

baldeng bubuhatin pa lang niya. Nasa tabi na pala niya ang binata
na hindi niya namalayan. Magkatuwang sila sa pagtapon ng tubig.

Napangiti siya. Ewan, pero masaya siya. Hindi dahil sa butas-butas
na bubong ng kusina nila. Kundi dahil kay Redjonito. Hindi
siya nito pinabubuhat sa napuno ng mga sisidlan. Minsan

natitigilan siya. The last time she felt like this was when her
father was still alive. The kind of feeling that makes her secured
despite of the fact that anything could go wrong. Maaaring

bumigay ang bubong nila anumang sandali kapag hindi tumigil
ang malakas na ulan pero panatag pa rin ang loob niya dahil
kasama niya ang isang taong pinagkakatiwalaan niya.

Saka lang niya napansing nakatingin ito sa kanya habang
nakatitig siya rito. “Umuulan,” aniya. She sounded and probably
looked stupid. Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi niya dahil basa na ito.
Napatingin ito sa sarili. “Umuulan nga.” He smiled at her and her
heart melted right then and there. She wanted to kiss him. But
her sane mind kept her from doing so.

Unti-unting humina ang buhos ng ulan hanggang sa tumila na
iyon. Kumuha siya ng dalawang malinis na tuwalya at inabot ang
isa kay Redjonito.

“Umuwi ka na habang nakatila ang ulan,” aniya.
“Dito na ako matutulog.”

Kunot-noong napatingin siya rito. Tama ba ang narinig niya?
“Kasya naman ako sa sofa. Baka bumigay na iyang bubong n’yo
kapag bumuhos ang ulan. Dapat may kasama ka.”

“It’s okay. I can handle this.”

“Dito na ako para sigurado. We’re gonna fix everything tomorrow.”
Tumango lang siya. Mas gusto niyang kasama ito. “Sa kwarto ka

na matulog,” aniya na ikinatigil nito. “I-I mean, sa kama ko.” Mas
lumala pa yata ang nadugtong niya. Tinitigan siya nito at ang

tanging naiisip niya ay kung papaano siya nito hinalikan kagabi at
kung papaanong buong-puso siyang tumugon. Hindi niya

napigilan ang pamumula at umiwas ng tingin. “I mean, hindi ka
magkakasya sa sofa. Kaya mas makabubuting doon ka matulog at
dito ako.”

Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi nito saka ngumiti. “I thought you were
seducing me.”

“Hah! Kapal mo! Naaawa lang ako sa’yo dahil-”
6
“It was a joke,” anitong umiwas ng tingin. “I’m fine. Really. Kaya
kong matulog kahit nakatayo.”

“Matutulog ka na?”

Nagtatakang umiling ito. Kaagad siyang naupo sa sofa. “Tatapusin
ko lang ang pinapanood natin.”

Wala itong nagawa kundi ang tumabi sa kanya. Ang totoo’y
namimigat na ang talukap ng mga mata niya. Pero gusto niyang
makasama ito ng matagal pa. Inabot niya ang popcorn sa mesa at
isinubo iyon. Naramdaman niyang nakatitig si Redjonito sa kanya.
Nagtatanong ang matang tiningnan niya ito. Maybe he realized
he loves her after all.

“That already fell.” anitong itinuro ang popcorn. Pero nalunok na
niya iyon. Lalong lumuwang ang pagkakangiti nito.

“Gawa na lang kita ng bago,” anitong akmang tatayo pero
hinawakan niya ang kamay nito.

“I’m okay. Manood na lang tayo.” Wala itong nagawa kundi maupo

ulit.
“Okay,” anito at pasimpleng kinuha ang kamay na hawak-hawak
niya.

Ilang sandali lang ay inihilig niya ang ulo sa balikat nito. Nang
hindi ito umalma’y ipinulupot niya ang braso sa braso nito. Narinig
niyang napabuntong-hininga ito pero hindi kinuha ang kamay.

Hindi niya maunawaan ang pinapanood. Pero masaya siya.
Talagang masayang-masaya siya. She just realized how she
missed Redjonito. She doesn’t want to go through that feeling of
emptiness again. Ayaw na niyang malayo pa rito. She could see
herself and Redjonito both old holding like this. Parehong puti na
ang buhok pero magkahawak pa rin. Napapikit siya. Malala na
talaga ang tama niya. Dahil hindi na niya maikakaila na mahal na
niya ang lalaking nasa tabi niya ngayon. At gusto niyang makatabi
ito habambuhay.

KANINA pa niya pinagmamasdan ang magandang mukha ni Cindy.
Tuluyan na itong nakatulog kaya binuhat na niya ito papunta sa
silid nito. Pero ngayong nakahiga na ito sa kama’t payapang
natutulog hindi niya magawang ihakbang ang paa palayo rito kaya
naupo siya sa kama nito’t pinagmasdan ang bawat paghinga nito.
She’s breathtakingly beautiful. Nothing much has changed over
the years. Cindy looked the same since the day he first saw her.
And she had the same effect. Only now, every single feeling he
had for her back then seemed to have magnified. Everyday he
sees something that makes him fall for her more.

For the past years he managed to live without thinking of her. And
he considered it a great success. Because in those days when he
was so in love with her, he felt dying everytime he sees her. He
thought he was over her completely. He thought he’d be able to

get over her as the days pass by. But he was wrong. Because
everything is coming back to him. The adrenaline rush, the
sleepless nights, daydreaming, hoping, hurting, pretending,
everything… the best and the worst is happening again. He can
handle the worst… but he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to handle
when all the best will be gone and only the worst remains. He
knew he’ll end up broken. And he doesn’t know what will be left of
him when the month ends.

They could’ve made love last night. And it will be a night he will
never forget until the day he dies. Just like the way he could never
forget the first time he kissed her. Those moments, are worth

keeping forever. But he can’t take advantage of the situation.
Alam niyang ginagawa lang ng dalaga ang lahat dahil sa

kasunduan nila. Though at times, he really wished Cindy could love
her back. But the month’s ending. Kailangan na niyang magising
sa mahabang pagkakatulog. Cindy could never love her. She

doesn’t even recognize him. She doesn’t even remember him at
all when all his life revolved around her. She can’t possibly love
him… but her kisses tell him otherwise. Hindi niya alam kung alin
ang paniniwalaan. But what difference does it make? It will not
change the fact that what they have isn’t real. If it wasn’t for the
ten-million deal, there’s no Cindy and Redjonito. Just Redjonito loving
Cindy… miserably.

Hinaplos niya ang magandang mukha nito. He wanted to capture
this moment. Hindi niya mabilang kung ilang beses niyang hiniling
na makausap ito kahit saglit lang, na ngumiti ito sa kanya kahit

minsan lang. Si Cindy ang matagal na niyang pangarap. Pero kahit
ngayong hawak-hawak niya ito’y hindi pa rin niya ito magawang
abutin.

Bigla itong kumilos. Nahigit niya ang mga mata nang unti-unting

bumuka ang mga mata nito. Hinanda na niya ang sarili na
mapasigaw ito. Pero sumilay ang ngiti sa labi nito na tila
nananaginip. Umusod ito at yumakap sa kanya.

“Stay,” bulong nito. Wala siyang nagawa kundi ang manatili roon
hindi dahil sinabi nito subalit dahil gusto niya. Gustung-gusto

niyang manatili roon. He wished she’d ask for him to stay forever
because he gladly will.

“I love you, Cindy,” bulong niya nang makitang mahimbing na ulit
ang tulog nito at kinintalan ito ng masuyong halik sa noo. Nahigit
niya ang hininga nang biglang humigpit ang yakap nito sa kanya.
And as if in a dream she whispered, almost inaudibly, “I love you,
too.”

His throat closed up that instant. He almost choked when he
forgot to breath. And all the while until early morning he just
watched her sleep. Wishing that the next morning she wakes up,
she loves him for real.

 

KINABUKASAN, namangha si Cindy pag-uwi mula sa trabaho nang
makitang ayos na ang bubong nila. Kitang-kita niya ang tuwa sa
mukha ng Mama niya at kaagad na niyakap si Redjonito. Paano’y
matagal na nilang planong mag-ina iyon pero lagi lang

naipagpapaliban.

Nakangiti siyang humarap sa binata na tila natutuwa sa
paglalambing ng ina.

“I love you, Redjonito!” aniya.
Tila nagulat ito. Lalo’t yumakap rin siya dito para itago ang
pamumula ng pisngi.

 

“I love you, Redjonito,” sabi rin ng Mama niya. Napatawa siya sa
ginawi ng ina. Nagpasalamat siya’t nakabawi sa pagkagulat ang
binata’t ganoon na lang ang tawa nito.

“I love you too, Ma,” anito saka hinalikan sa noo ang Mama niya.
Pagkuwa’y binalingan siya. “I love you more, Cindy.” Kung hindi
siya nakayakap rito’y baka natumba na siya.

LUMIPAS ang mga araw na hindi nila namamalayan. They were
enjoying every moment that Cindy wasn’t able to notice the days.
Isang linggo na lang at matatapos na pala ang isang buwan. Hindi
naman kasi nila napag-uusapan ni Redjonito ang tungkol sa kanila.
Umugong ang balitang hiwalay na si Wynona at Lemuel pero

hindi niya magawang pag-ukulan ng panahon ang mga ito. She
just enjoyed every moment with Redjonito. Nakalimutan nilang
may taning ang relasyon nila. Hindi niya naisip na matatapos na
ang lahat ng meron sila ngayon. At natatakot siya… dahil alam
niya sa sarili niyang ayaw niyang mapalayo rito. Redjonito had
been her source of happiness. At iniisip lang niya ngayon kung
ano ang buhay kapag iniwan siya nito’y tila hindi na niya

makakayanan ang sakit sa dibdib.

“Bakit mahaba iyang mukha mo?” pansin ni Maricar nang
madatnan siya sa locker room.

Wala sa loob na napabuntong-hininga siya. Matagal na niyang
gustong sabihin kay Maricar ang lahat. Pakiramdam niya’y

sasabog siya kapag wala siyang mapagsabihan ng bumabagabag
sa kanya.

“Can you keep a secret?” tanong niya. Nagtatakang tumango ito.
“Of course, ano bang klaseng tanong iyan.”

Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. “I’m in love with Redjonito.”

Umangat ang kilay nito. “That’s not a secret. Halatang-halata ka
naman, sis.”

Alumpihit siya. Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga. “I love him but I
can’t keep him.”

Kumunot ang noo ni Maricar. “Hindi kita maintindihan. Paano ba
naging problema iyan eh pwede naman kayong magpakasal

anytime.”

Tiningnan niya ng matiim ang kaibigan. She promised Redjonito
she won’t tell anyone. Nagtatalo ang loob niya. But Maricar isn’t
just anyone, katwiran ng isip niya. “Promise me you won’t tell a
soul.”

Nagtataka ma’y itinaas nito ang kamay. “Promise.”
“We’re just faking. The only thing that’s real between Redjonito
and me is my feelings for him. Lahat ng nakikita ninyo, hindi
totoo.”

“Weh?” anitong pinandilatan siya. “Tigilan mo nga ako sa
kalokohan mo, Cindy.”

“I’m serious!”

“Talaga?” ani Maricar na inaakalang nagbibiro pa rin siya.
“He’s paying me ten million just to be his fiancee for one month.”
desperadong sambit niya.

Nakangangang napatitig ito sa kanya. “T-Ten million?”
“Now, I got your attention.”

“Oh my… Did you know how hard it was for me to accept that
you’re really in love with Redjonito? I just knew you’re not the kind

who could fall for someone like him. It took me a while to accept
that fact. Kung hindi ko pa kayo pinagmamasdan ng maigi, at
makitang may spark at nagtu-twinkle ang mga mata n’yo, hindi
talaga ako maniniwala. And now, after being convinced, sasabihin
mong hindi totoo ang lahat? Cindy naman,” angal nito.

“I’m sorry,” aniyang napakagat-labi. “I promised not to tell anyone.
Pero hindi ko na talaga kaya. What should I do? I wanna have this
realtionship for real. I love Redjonito so much. So much that it

would break me if he’ll ever leave.”

Tinitigan siya ni Maricar. “Then tell him you love him.”
“And then what? Beg for him to stay?”

“Tanga ka ba? You don’t need to beg. The moment you tell
Redjonito you love him, magkakandadapadapa na iyong humanap
ng pari na magkakasal sa inyo. Can’t you see it? He is so into you.
Kulang na lang sambahin ka noong tao. He can’t even move

without thinking of you. Believe me, if you had fallen for him, I am
so sure he had fallen for you, first.”

She looked at Maricar hopefully. “You think so?”
“I know so. Kaya kung ako sa’yo, sasabihin ko na sa kanya habang
maaga pa.”

Pakiramdam niya’y gumaan ang dibdib niya. Kahit papaano’y
naibsan ang pagkabagabag niya. She felt hopeful thinking
Redjonito could possibly love her. Hindi pa man, naiiyak na siya sa
tuwa. What if he loves her? What if they feel the same? She has
to be honest with what she feels. And she has to take courage to
tell it to Redjonito or she’ll regret when he leaves her without

putting an effort. She has to do something.

 

Kapwa sila napalingon nang may marinig na yabag na papalapit.
“Oh my,” tanging nasambit ni Maricar nang mapagsino iyon.

Napalingon siya.

“Ano’ng ginagawa mo rito?” aniyang kunot ang noo nang makita
ang bagong dating.

“I came to apologize,” ani Lemuel. “I’m so sorry, Cindy. I can’t take
this anymore. I can’t bear to see you marrying that guy when all
along you still love me.” Lemuel looked so sad and hugged her
tight. Hindi siya makakilos. Napatingin siya kay Maricar. Nagkibit-balikat
lang ang kaibigan at iniwan sila.
“Lem,” aniyang nagtangkang kumawala sa pagkakayakap nito
pero mas lalo nitong hinigpitan ang yakap sa kanya.

“We still love each other, Cindy. I’m so sorry if I hurt you when I
chose Wynona. But I realized it’s you I love after all. Let’s run
away. Ituloy na natin ang mga plano natin. Magpakasal na tayo.”
Nanlaki ang mata niya sa narinig.

“I missed you so much,” anito at bago pa man siya maka-iwas,
inangkin na nito ang labi niya. Itinulak niya ito pero mas lalo lang
nitong idiniin ang halik. Nagpumiglas siya pero mas malakas ito.
She used to love Lemuel. But she couldn’t feel anything with his
kiss. Hindi siya kumilos. Hinayaan niyang halikan siya nito

hanggang sa mapagod ito. She could not bring herself to respond.
“Tapos ka na?” aniya nang unti-unti siyang pinakawalan nito. Tila
napahiya ito sa nakitang ekspresyon ng mukha niya. “I’ve loved
you, Lem. Loved… And I can’t bring myself to love you even if I
wanted to. I’m sorry. You had your chance but you broke my heart.
I’ve learned to move on. I’m sorry but everything between us is

over.”
Umiling ito na tila naiiyak. “That’s impossible.”
“Wynona loves you. She loves you for real. Stop breaking hearts,
will you?!” aniya at iniwanan ito. Tila nabunutan siya ng tinik sa
dibdib. That’s what she and Lemuel lacked. Closure. She didn’t
expect Lemuel to say those things to her. But she knew Lemuel.
His kisses felt way back when he was already having

realationship with Wynona. She felt being lied again. Like he’s
reading a script while saying those things that could’ve melt her
heart. Unlike before, she’s not crying now. Actually, she felt so
much better now. Now that she knew Lemuel can’t hurt her
anymore.

Napangiti siya. Ngayon handa na siyang aminin kay Redjonito ang
nararamdaman. Come hell or high water, she’s gonna confess her
love for him. Nothing can stop her!

Naghintay siya para sunduin siya ng binata. Kanina pa siya hindi
mapakali. Now, she felt awful for all those boys she turned down.
Hindi pala ganun kadali ang magtapat. Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga.
Redjonito is late and she’s somehow getting a nervous
breakdown. Pilit niyang kinalma ang sarili at tinawagan ang
binata. Pero walang sumasagot sa cellphone nito. She waited
some more time. But Redjonito didn’t come. Binundol ng kaba ang
dibdib niya. She felt something is wrong.

Frdp
“I write for a cause… and that cause is LOVE.”

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 9 – Tagalog Online Pocketbook

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 9

BY Frdp

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF
She had never done this in her whole life and her heart is racing
that she has to catch her breath.Hindi niya alam kung dahil ba
nag-aalala siyang hindi umubra ang plano niya o dahil baka
makalimot siya’t maibigay kay Redjonito ang bagay na pinaka-

2

ingat-ingatan niya. For a fraction of second she thought she just
had the brightest idea but she doubt it now. Now that she’s

trembling with… excitement? Ngayon lang niya nakitang
nagtanggal ng pang-itaas si Redjonito. All along she thought he’s
too thin but then he’s well-proportioned, well-toned. So to say, he
looked hot. Pakiramdam niya’y lalagnatin siya sa tuwing

mapapako ang tingin niya rito.

“Let’s do this,” aniyang tinatantiyang paparating na ang panauhin
nila. “Hold me.” Nang hindi ito kumilos kinuha niya ang dalawang
kamay nito’t inilagay sa magkabilang balakang niya. Muntik na
siyang mapaigtad nang tumagos ang init ng kamay nito sa

pantalong suot. Napahawak siya sa batok nito. “Just let me do the
kissing.” Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga bago yumuko para
halikan ang labi nito. She could feel her lips trembling and her
whole body too.

“I can’t,” sagot nito sa pagitan ng paghalik niya. Natigil siya sa
paghalik at nagtatakang tiningnan ito.

“You can’t, what?” aniyang gustong mainis. Doesn’t he even find
her desirable at all? But he just looked intently at her and she

almost burned with his stare.

“You don’t know what you’re doing to me, Cindy,” bulong nito at
siniil ng halik ang labi niya. Her heart was pounding so hard
against her chest. She should stop him. She should be the one in
control. Pero nawala sa sariling tino ang utak niya. He pressed
himself into her and she was on fire. Pakiramdam niya’y

nilalagnat na siya. Nang akala niya’y malulunod siya’y napakapit
siya sa batok nito. Pinilit niyang sabayan ang ritmo ng halik nito.
Nang ibuka niya ang labi, malayang ginalugad ng binata ang

kasuluk-sulukang bahagi ng bibig niya. Napa-ungol siya. Malakas.
Napasabunot siya sa buhok nito nang tila hindi niya makayanan

ang sensasyong pumapalibot sa katawan. Their tongues met and
she felt she’s going crazy. She felt an emotion so strong she

thought she’d explode. No one ever made her feel like this. She
never wanted anyone as much as she wanted Redjonito.

Kapwa sila naghahabol ng hininga nang maghiwalay ang labi
nila.. Nang muling angkinin ni Redjonito ang labi niya, buong puso
siyang nagpaubaya. This time she didn’t care. Alright, she is really
in love with him. Hindi niya alam kung papaano. But she is. And
she wanted this moment to last forever.

“I love you, Redjonito,” aniya sa pagitan ng halik. It’s part of the
plan but it came out so naturally. “I love you so much,” muli niyang
sabi at mas isiniksik pa ang sarili dito. Naglapat ang katawan nila’t
mas lalong nag-alab ang halikan nila. Pakiramdam niya’y

nagliliyab siya nang hinagod ng mga kamay nito ang bewang niya
pataas. She’s almost dying in anticipation. She shuddered when
he reached for her breasts and gave it a light squeeze. She could
have screamed if the door didn’t open.

“Uh-oh. S-Sorry.”

Pareho silang napatingin sa pinto. Tila naitulos doon si Walter sa
kinatatayuan. He looked so shocked. Nataranta siya bigla. She
forgot about Walter. She forgot that this supposed to be an act.
Masyado siyang nadala sa pagpapanggap nila. Mabilis niyang
inayos ang sarili. Tumalikod naman kaagad si Walter.

Nakaramdam siya ng hiya. Did Walter just see how much she
wanted Redjonito?

“I-I’ll just go to our room.” aniyang nabubulol. “I’ll wait for you,
love,” aniya.

Redjonito looked at her, took a deep breath and suddenly kissed

her. Muli siyang nawala sa sarili at tumugon sa halik. “You’re
killing me,” anito saka pinakawalan siya. She saw the need in his
eyes and she felt the heat burning in her cheeks. Tumalikod siya’t
tumakbo patungo sa silid nito. Niyakap niya kaagad ang sarili nang
maupo sa kama nito. She can still feel Redjonito’ kisses ang touch.
Oh my… She’s in deep trouble.

“WHAT the hell are you doing here?” inis na tanong niya. Masyado
siyang natangay sa kunwaring love-making nila ng dalaga. It was
a wrong idea. Dapat hindi siya pumayag. He wanted to keep those
intimate moments for himself- to hell with Walter.

“I’m sorry, t-the door’s open.” anitong tila natutulala. “W-Was that
Cindy?” anitong tila hindi makapaniwala.

Now seeing his cousin’s face, he begins to enjoy. But his head
down there is in so much pain. If Walter didn’t come, hindi niya
alam kung mapipigil niya ang nadarama sa dalaga. He felt that
she wants him as much as he wants her. Or were those just for
ten million?

“No, it’s another woman,” pagalit na sagot niya.
“It is Cindy,” anitong napalunok.

“Leave now, Walter.”

“I just came to say that you should take care of Cindy. Dahil kung
hindi, ako ang makakalaban mo.”

Kumunot ang noo niya sa sinabi nito. “Is that a threat?”
“No. Talagang bubugbugin kita kapag sinaktan mo siya. You’re
lucky, dude. You won Cindy’s heart.” Napabuntong-hininga ito. “I
can’t believe she’s that in love with you. I can now accept my loss.

But if you ever make her cry, I’m gonna take her away from you.”
“You don’t have to tell me that. That’s the last thing I would want
to happen. I love her. I will even lay down my life for her.”

“Well, that’s good to know.” Inilahad nito ang kamay. “Aalis na
ako. Just let me know the wedding day, I’ll be there.”

Tinanggap niya ang kamay ng pinsan. And for the first time, he
felt Walter as a brother. “Umalis ka na, istorbo,” aniya.

Tumawa ito saka lumabas na ng pinto.

Nahilamos niya ang mukha. He’s relieved Walter is gone. But he’s
not relieved knowing Cindy is still inside his room. He knows he

won’t be able to stop himself if she sees Cindy again. What should
he do? Nanuyo ang lalamunan niya. Papunta siya ng kusina para
uminom ng tubig nang biglang bumukas ang pinto ng silid niya.
Cindy’s still wearing her hair unkept looking sexy as hell.

“IT went well, right?” aniya kay Redjonito na nakatitig sa kanya.
Matagal nang nawala ang tinig ni Walter pero hindi man lang ito
nag-abalang ipaalam sa kanya. He looked in pain when he looked
at her.

“Is everything alright?” Tanong niyang halos pabulong.
“It…” anito saka napatingin sa mga mata niya. “Sorry, I can’t help
it Cindy,” anito at sinunggaban siya ng halik. Muntik na siyang

matumba kung hindi siya napasandal sa dingding. He kissed her
slowly and deeply. The tingling sensation made her toes curl.
Napayakap siya ng mahigpit dito.

“Redjonito…” aniyang hindi napigilan ang ungol nang
maramdaman niya ang matigas na bagay sa bandang puson niya.

Hindi siya tumutol nang kargahin siya nito at dinala papasok ng
silid. His kisses are now bold. And she can’t stop him. She can’t
stop herself either. She knew what he wanted. Dapat na siyang
magising. Dumantay sa likod niya ang malambot na kama. She
should panic. But she felt more excited than afraid.

“If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” humihingal na sabi nito habang
pinauulanan siya ng halik. Ungol lang ang kaya niyang itugon dahil
parang nawawalan siya ng sariling bait. She felt his hands under
her clothes, unclipped her bra and heard him groan when he

cupped her breast. Napaliyad siya nang pumasok ang ulo nito sa
loob ng blusang suot. Pakiramdam niya’y nagdedeliryo na siya.
She felt his hot tongue licking his way through her breast. Then
tearing her clothes in the process, he claimed her lips once more.
His bare chest against her bare skin sends fire through her. She
couldn’t take it. She felt the heat build up towards her center.
Napakapit siya ng mahigpit kay Redjonito.

5
“Love me,” she begged. “Make love to me, Redjonito,” daing niya.
But just when she said that, he looked at her with so much love
and suddenly stopped kissing her. Bumalikwas ito ng bangon.
“Sorry,” anitong tinalikuran siya. “Magbihis ka na. Ihahatid na kita
sa inyo.” saka lumabas ng silid.

Naiwan siyang nakatulala. Para siyang binuhusan ng malamig na
tubig. Hindi niya alam kung ilang sandali siyang nanatiling

nakatulala. Hanggang sa maramdaman niya ang mainit na likido
na pumatak sa pisngi. Dagli niyang pinahid ang luha nang

mapansing umiiyak na siya. Tumayo siya at inayos ang suot.
Naghanap siya ng blusa niya sa loob ng cabinet nito dahil sira na
ang blusang kanina lang ay suot niya. Paglabas niya ng silid ay
nakayuko ang ulong naghihintay ang binata sa kanya. She felt a

pang of pain seeing him. Nang maramdaman siya nito’y kaagad
itong tumayo at hindi na siya tinapunan ng tingin. Wala silang
imikan nang sumakay sila sa kotse hanggang sa makarating ng
bahay nila. Nang huminto ang kotse’y kaagad siyang umibis. Hindi
na niya ito tinapunan ng tingin dahil nagsimula nang lumambong
ang paningin niya. The last thing she wants is to let Redjonito see
her crying.

Right now, she couldn’t identify how she feels. Isa lang ang alam
niya. Nasasaktan siya. At hindi lang basta masakit. Masakit na
masakit.

HINDI nagpakita si Redjonito kinabukasan. Nakasanayan na niyang
makita ang mukha nito sa bawat umaga. It made her morning cold
and bleak. Parang hindi siya makahinga sa sikip ng dibdib. What
made things worse is she is worried. She’s hurt and she’s worried
things might not be the same anymore. They’ve been so close the
past days and suddenly… Isn’t she the one who’s supposed to be
mad? She almost gave herself to him. Or in the more shameful
phrase, she gave herself to him but he refused. Dapat siya ang
galit. Dapat siya ang hindi magpakita. Pero ngayon, siya pa ang
nag-aalala ng husto.

Hanggang sa sumapit ang gabi, wala pa rin ito. Walang tawag.
Walang text. Pinilit niyang huwag pansinin ang sakit pero hindi
niya kayang lokohin ang sarili. Pinahid niya ang mga mata bago
pa man mamuo ang luha. She isn’t crying over him. Dahil wala
naman silang relasyon. Wala siyang dahilan para umiyak.

But she missed Redjonito. And she felt like she’s losing him.
Humapdi ang mga mata niya sa naisip at bago pa man niya
mapigilan, pumatak na ang luha. Sunod-sunod. She can’t take the
hurt anymore. Niyakap niya ang sarili at impit na napahikbi.

 

So this is how it feels… losing someone who was never really
yours. How could she let herself love and get hurt again? Why
does she always fall for someone who couldn’t love her in return?
Biglang tumunog ang cellphone nya. Pinahid niya kaagad ang luha
at nagmamadaling dinampot iyon. She’s hoping against hope it
would be Redjonito. Muling sumungaw ang luha niya nang

pagbukas niya ng Inbox, pangalan ni Redjonito ang naroroon.
I’m sorry, I was unproffesional. I would undrstand if u wud back out
from the deal. Im really sori, Cindy. Please don’t b mad.

Nayakap niya bigla ang cellphone. Pagkuwa’y kinutusan iyon. It
took him whole day to say sorry!

Naghintay siya ng limang minuto bago mag-reply. Ewan ko sa’yo!
Wala pang isang segundo tumunog na ang cellphone niya.

I don’t know what else to do. I feel ashamed even when I just think of
u. I know I betrayed your trust. I lost my control last night. I won’t do
it again. I’ll do everything just to gain your trust back again.

Nakagat niya ang labi. That’s not what exactly happened last
night. She was the one who lost control. She even begged for him
to love her. Umiling-iling siya para mawala kaagad iyon sa isipan.
Nag-type siya. I know and I undrstand. Sa ganda ko ba namang ito?
So, ok n tayo?

Kung di lang kita mahal unggoy ka! Gusto niyang i-reply.
Magsorry ka muna.

I’m sorry, Cindy. Kaagad na reply nito. Plano niyang maghintay uli
ng limang minuto kaya nagpunta na muna siya ng banyo para

makapaghilamos at toothbrush. Nagpalit na rin siya ng pantulog.

Nagulat siya pagbalik niya, her phone was blinking no space for
new messages. Nang buksan niya’y bumaha ang mensahe nito.
Puro I’m sorry.

Dinilete niya ang ilan para makapasok ang mga bagong mensahe.
Bumaha pa rin ang I’m sorry.

Mababaliw na ako Cindy. PLEASE, ang pinakabagong mensahe nito.
With roses & chocolates. Reply niya saka napangiti. Gustung-gusto
niya kapag natataranta ito sa kanya. Kahit kunwari lang. Kahit ang
dahilan ay para manatili siya sa usapan nila’t hindi dahil mahal

siya nito.

Look outside your window.
Nagtataka may binuksan niya ang bintana. Para lang mapatda.
She felt her heart leaped as she saw Redjonito outside with lots of
green roses. Her throat closed up and she felt like she wanna cry.
How did Redjonito know her favorite rose? She didn’t tell him that.
Tumunog ulit ang cellphone niya.

Pwede ba tumuloy?

Nakagat niya ang labi at pinigil ang sariling mangiti. Iningusan
niya ito.

Wait . reply niya saka nagmamadaling nagbihis inayos niya ang
sarili.

Walang kangiti-ngiting pinatuloy niya ito. Kahit sa loob-loob ang
saya-saya niya. Buti na lang maagang natulog ang Mama niya
kung hindi’y makukurot siya sa singit.

“Roses,” anito. She wanted to hug him pero pinigilan niya ang
sarili. She missed him so much that nothing else mattered as long

as he’s around.
“Sabi ko roses. Hindi flowershop.”
“But you liked them?”

I love them like I love you, gusto niyang isagot pero itinikom niya
ang bibig at tango lang ang isinagot at tinanggap ang green roses.
“These are my all-time favorite, how did you know?”

He just smiled in reply. “Chocolates,” anito at ibinigay ang box sa
kanya.

“I want it Hersheys. With almonds,” aniya. He won’t be able to
guess her favorite chocolate.

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi nito. “Pinahihirapan mo ba ako o
pinahihirapan mo ako?” tanong nito habang pinapanood siya
habang binubuksan ang box. Isang box iyon ng iba’t ibang variety
ng Hersheys chocolates. Napataas ang kilay niya. How did he

know? Napasulyap siya sa silid ng ina saka napa-iling.

Nakalimutan niyang may kakampi pala ito sa loob ng bahay.
“Buti na lang ready ako. Okay na ba tayo?”

Nagkunwa siyang nag-isip bago tumango. “Upo,” aniyang
iminuwestra ang sofa.

“Thank you,” anito na tila nakahinga ng maluwag. Then he looked
at her with that look she didn’t want to see. He’s being civil and
she didn’t want that from him.

“I won’t do it again. I almost ruined my promise. I’m sorry… I took
advantage of you last night.”

“Let’s forget about it,” mabilis niyang sabi bago pa maging

awkward ang lahat. At bago pa niya masabing okay lang, na
ginusto niya ang lahat ng iyon. “Nangyari na ang lahat. But wait,
do you think we’ve convinced Walter?”

Tumango ito “And he promised he won’t bother us anymore.”
Napangiti siya. “That’s good news.”

“We can stop from here, Cindy. Hindi na natin kailangang-”
“No!” Tila nagulat ito nang tumaas ang boses niya. Nagulat rin
siya. “I mean, you’re paying me for a month’s service. I’m giving
you a month’s service.”

“Are you sure? Kasi-”
“I’m sure,” mabilis na sagot niya. “And we need to pretend we’re
okay until…until you’re going back to London, right? We’re not
breaking up.” paalala niya, trying so hard not to sound desperate.
“Y-Yeah,” anito na tila napilitan lang at umiwas nang tingin nang
magpang-abot ang titig nila.

Bigla’y wala na siyang masabi. Images from last night bothered
her so much.

“What did you do today?”
“Think of you,” wala sa loob na sagot niya. “I mean I was thinking
of you and me. But not us. No, I mean.” napalunok siya. I can’t get
you off my mind and I think I am falling deeply in love with you and
it’s hurting me because you do not feel the same, sa loob-loob niya.
“Forget it. I think I’m tired.”

“Then, I have to go,” anitong akmang tatayo.
“No!” mabilis na sabi niya. “Baka magtaka si Mama,” alibi niya

kahit kanina pa tulog ang ina. “Stay for a while. I’ll make
popcorns!” Nakahinga siya ng maluwag ng tumayo ito. She
missed him all day. She can’t make him leave that soon. Ngumiti
siya at hindi napigilan ang sariling yakapin ito. “Alright, I’ll make
popcorns!” masayang sabi niya at pinakawalan ito bago pa siya
mahalata.

Frdp
“I write for a cause… and that cause is LOVE.”

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 8 – Tagalog Online Pocketbook

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF – CHAPTER 8

BY Frdp

ANG HINDI MAISURANG BF
“UY!” anang kaharap sabay bato ng throw pillow sa kanya. “Nakikinig ka ba?” Tumama iyon sa mukha niya. Saka lang niya
namalayang nasa sariling pad na siya hawak-hawak ang isang boteng beer na wala ng laman kaharap ang hindi

imbitadong bisita na may sinasabing hindi niya maunawaan.

 

5

“What’s that again?” aburidong tanong niya. Nagbukas siya ng panibagong bote ng beer. Hindi niya maalis sa isip si Cindy.
Ang totoo’y ayaw niyang mawala sa isip niya ang nangyari kanina. Gusto niyang paulit-ulit na balikan iyon. Cindy kissed
her like she was in love with him. He wants to live remembering that perfect moment. Except the fact that all he did while
she was kissing him was freeze. Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga. Kailan kaya darating ang panahon na hindi na siya
matitiyope kapag kasama ang dalaga? Kailan kaya siya magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob na aminin dito ang totoong

nararamdaman?

 

“I was talking about our bet, dude.” ani Walter.

“I’m getting married.” tipid niyang sabi. “I won.”

“You can’t be serious, dude. You could’ve easily won the bet if it was another woman. But Cindy, marrying you? Who would
believe that crap?” anitong tumawa ng malakas.

 

“I don’t think that’s funny,” walang kangiti-ngiting sabi niya.

“Reality is not fun at all,” pakli nito. “This is for your own good, dude. You have to reconsider a fact na sa lahat ng naging
boyfriend ni Cindy, ikaw lang ang walang hitsura. It’s too obvious, she just wants your money. And that can’t make you
win,” anitong iiling-iling.

 

“The challenge is that I get a girl in a month. And I got one. I’m even getting married. I won. Prove to me that she just
wants my money and you win. But dude, you can’t prove anything. She loves me. Magsasayang ka lang ng oras.”

Tumungga ito ng beer. Nawala na ang ngiti sa labi nito. “Alright, technically, you won the bet. But she can’t possibly love
you.” Umiling-iling ito. “And once I proved that, you’re gonna have to accept your loss.”

 

Pinigilan niya ang pag-igkas ng kamao. “Do you really think she’d marry me if she doesn’t love me? You know Cindy. She’s
not a sucker for money.”

 

Natahimik ito at nangangalit ang bagang. “Yeah, but Cindy never liked ugly men, dude. Hindi na iyan mababago. There’s no
way she could even like you. Kung nabilog niya ang ulo mo, ako hindi.”

 

“Well, suit yourself. Magsasayang ka lang ng oras.”

Tumayo ito at tinapos ang bote ng beer. “We’ll see about that. I have to go,” anito at tinungo ang pinto.

 

Napahilamos siya ng mukha. Nasira na ang mood niya ng gabing iyon. Reality isn’t fun at all. He knows that Cindy can’t
love him as much as he loves her. Hindi siya tanga. But he will be hypocrite if he says he’s not hoping. Everytime he
kissed Cindy, all he ever yearned is for her to love him back. Kahit konting-konti lang. But he never want to give himself
false hopes because he knew it would definitely destroy him in the end. He loves Cindy… so much. But he doesn’t know
how to tell her. Because he is afraid it would destroy all the good things they are sharing now. He wants to tell her she
wants to marry her for real. But then again, he doesn’t want to risk the kind of relationship they are enjoying as of the
moment. He’d rather keep everything to himself than tell her and see her go away. He won’t be able to bear that. No… he
can’t afford to lose her.

MAGAAN ang pakiramdam ni Cindy nang pumasok siya sa trabaho kinabukasan. Hindi niya alam pero ang saya niya. And
saya-saya niya. Kahit kagabi lang siya tinext ng secretary ni Wynona na kailangan niyang pumasok ng maaga, hindi pa rin
nasira ang mood niya. Redjonito has caused all these feelings. And she wants to savor all of it. Bahala na si Batman sa huli.
She wants to enjoy every moment with him. Yesterday when she saw that sad look in his face made her promise not to
hurt him or get mad at him ever again. Redjonito had enough hurt. Hindi na niya dadagdagan pa iyon.

“Hello,” bati sa kanya pagkabukas niya ng silid. Nagulat siya nang mapagsino ang bagong tuturuan niya.

“Pretty Cindy, we meet again,” anito na nakalabas ang puting-puti at pantay-pantay na mga ngipin. Amazing… aniya sa
sarili. Napansin rin niyang matangos na ang ilong nito. Sumingkit ang mga mata nito at naging manipis ang labi. Ang puti-puti
pa nito. Napa-iling siya. High-tech na talaga ang panahon ngayon. Na-i-edit na ang mukha. Ibang-iba na talaga ito sa
Walter na sunod ng sunod sa kanya noon. Kung noon bothered siya sa sungki-sungking ngipin nito, ngayo’y bothered siya
sa paraan ng pagngiti nito. Hindi ba pwedeng mag-smile lang tapos itikom na ang bibig? Ipinilig niya ang ulo, nagiging
mapanlait na naman siya.

 

“I’m surprised. I heard that you want to learn-”

“Tango.” kaagad na sagot nito. “You never knew how excited I am.”

Ngiti lang ang isinagot niya. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam niya sa presensiya nito. She knows what he’s here for. He’s
gonna fish for something. At handa na siya sa sasabihin niya. She didn’t even need her practiced lines. She just have to
tell him how she really feels for Redjonito. Hinanda niya ang musika at ilang sandali pa’y nagsimula na silang sumayaw.
She expected for him to talk. But they just danced. Madali itong turuan. Kagaya ng kapatid nito, magaling din itong
sumayaw. All through out the dance he just stared at her and she stared back. She’s not intimidated by his presence at all.
Then he smiled, iyong hindi nakalitaw ang mga ngipin, which is much better. She smiled back and he sighed and smiled
again. Hanggang sa unti-unting dumating ang mga estudyante niya. Kinailangan nilang tapusin ang pagsasayaw.

 

“You dance so well,” aniya.
“It’s because you’re perfect,” anito. “I learned a lot, Cindy. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” aniya napangiti. “That’s good to hear.”

“Hindi ka pa rin kumukupas. This is one of those things I admire so much about you, you know,” totoo sa loob na sabi nito.

“Yeah, I know,” aniya na ikinaluwang ng ngiti nito. She knew she had been cruel to Walter in the past. But she just thought
he deserved it because he was always a bully.

“I need to get going,” anito nang mapansing marami na ang mga estudyante niya na nagsisimula ng mag-stretching sa
dance floor. “I’ll see you later.”

 

Tango lang ang sinagot niya at hinanda ang musika sa sumunod na klase. What could be Walter’s plans? Napa-iling siya.
Saka na niya iisipin iyon.

PAGKATAPOS ng huling klase niya sa araw na iyon nagulat siya nang biglang pumasok si Walter. May dala itong bulaklak.

“What’s this for?” aniyang nag-aalangan kung tatanggapin ba iyon o hindi.

“For the wonderful time I had with you this morning.”
“Thank you. But you don’t need to-”

“Please?” pakiusap nito. “Hindi naman siguro magagalit si Redjonito kapag may nagbigay ng bulaklak sa’yo, di ba?”
She’s not fond of red roses but she accepted it anyway.

 

“Redjonito is so lucky to have you.”

“I think it’s the other way around,” tapat na sabi niya.
Mapakla itong ngumiti. “That is hard to believe, you know.”
Tumango siya. “I know. I myself find it hard to believe,” aniyang tila nakikipag-usap lang sa matalik na kaibigan.
“If you’re unsure, you can always find someone better.”

Umangat ang kilay niya.

“I’ll be straightforward, Cindy. I still like you. “
“I’m getting married,” paalala niya rito na salubong ang kilay.
“I know that. I’m just giving you options.”

 

“I don’t want options. I want Redjonito. I only want Redjonito.” mariing sagot niya.

“Will you still want him if you know the real reason why he would want to marry you?”

“He loves me. There’s no other reason than that.”

 

“That’s what he told you? What about the fact that he could lose everything that he has right now if he won’t marry you?”

Kumunot ang noo niya. “Do you really think I’d believe you?” aniyang pinameywangan ito. Nagsalubong na ang kilay niya.
Talagang makukurot niya sa singit si Redjonito. Ano’ng pumasok sa isip nito’t isinugal nito ang lahat-lahat?

 

“It’s up to you how to weigh things,” anito. “I like you a lot, Cindy. A lot. Ever since when we were young. That’s why I’m
giving you a better option. Marry me instead. Kaya kong ibigay ang lahat ng gusto mo.”

 

“Give me Redjonito,” tanging namutawi sa labi niya. “I love Redjonito, Walter.”

Tila hindi ito makapaniwala sa naririnig at matagal na tinitigan siya.

“But you never liked ugly men,” himutok nito na muntik na niyang ikangiti.
“Yes, I never did,” aniyang napabuntong-hininga. “I’m sorry about that, Walter. I’ve been so mean to you way back in
highschool. Pero ganito talaga ako. I mean, nilalait ko si Redjonito, every single moment na magkasama kami. But I don’t
know what happened. I know he’s ugly and I see he is ugly. But my heart sees beyond that. And all I know now is that I
love him…” totoo sa loob na sambit niya. “I wish I could love anyone other than Redjonito,” aniyang napabuntonghininga.
Gusto niyang pigilan ang sarili pero kailangan niya talagang mailabas ang nasa dibdib. “I really do wish I won’t love him too
much. Because I don’t know how to bear it if one day he wakes up and he won’t feel the same…”

 

Saglit itong natahimik. “It’s Redjonito who should feel that way. Not you.”
Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay. “Yeah, but you just told me the real reason why Redjonito is marrying me. Which I do not believe
of course. I can feel he loves me,” aniya. “I just wish it’s gonna be, you know, forever. Because that is how I felt for him.”
Tila hindi na nito malaman ang sasabihin. Napabuntong-hininga ito. “Just if, you know, if you wake up one day and your
feelings for Redjonito is gone, you can always say yes to my proposal. I can give you all that you want.”

“I’d always want Redjonito,” aniya.

Napa-iling-iling ito. “I can’t believe I’m hearing and seeing you like this.” Napabuntong-hininga ito. “Nakaka-turn off na.”
Napatawa siya ng malakas. Tagpong dinatnan ni Redjonito. Kapwa sila napalingon nang may tumikhim sa likuran nila.
Nawala ang tawa niya nang makitang madilim ang mukha ng binata. Napalunok siya nang hindi man lang siya nito
nginitian.

 

“Dude,” ani Walter sabay taas ng kamay.

Tango lang ang isinagot ni Redjonito at tinitigan siya. Yung tipong tagos hanggang bato. It’s as though he has caught her
cheating on him. Kumunot ang noo niya. She did nothing. Kaagad siyang nagpaalam kay Walter.

“I thought you never liked red flowers,” anito.

 

Nagtaka siyang napatingin rito. How did he know? “I never did,” sagot niya.
Hindi na ito nagsalita. Hindi naman niya mabitaw-bitawan ang bulaklak. He was silent inside the car. She knew why. She
was laughing with the enemy. He had all the reason to get mad at her. But it’s not what he thinks it is!

 

“Redjonito-”

“Not here,” malamig na sagot nito. “We’ll talk in my pad.” Salubong ang dalawang kilay at mariing nakalapat ang labi nito.

Napahalukipkip siya. Her eyes sting. Habang yumatagal ang katahimikan sa pagitan nila’y bumibigat lalo ang dibdib niya.
Tumingin siya sa labas ng bintana. She hates this feeling. Kinagat niya ng mariin ang labi nang maramdaman ang

namumuong luha. Nakarating sila sa pad nito. Nagpatiuna siya. Padabog na isinara niya ang pinto at mabigat ang bawat
hakbang papasok sa bahay nito.

“Ikaw pa ang may ganang magdabog?”
Alam niyang pipiyok ang boses niya kapag nagsalita siya kaya tinalikuran niya ito at pilit kinalma ang sarili bago nagsalita.
“I don’t deserve this treatment, Redjonito!”

“Oh,” anitong tumawa ng pagak. “And I do? I was just gone for a day and there you are laughing with Walter!” anitong
nangangalit ang bagang. “What should be my reaction? Laugh with you? The hell I will! We have a deal, Cindy!”

 

“I know that!”

“And you’re laughing with Walter? Tumanggap ka pa ng bulaklak!”

Napakuyom ng kamao si Redjonito nang hindi sumagot ang dalag. He knew Walter would do something and he was too
late to inform Cindy. He wanted to punch his cousin’s face. And he felt shattered seeing that spark in Cindy’s eyes while she
was talking with Walter. He is so damn jealous! “Walter believed that what we have isn’t real. Now, you just convinced
him what he believes is true! You should’ve stayed away from him. You shouldn’t have talked to him. But worse, it seems
you have forgotten me and enjoyed talking to him. I won’t wonder if he comes tonight and says he won the bet!”

“I’m not stupid, Redjonito! I know what I’m doing. And I’ll never forget that I am doing the things I do because you’re paying
for my service! We were talking about you. We were talking about you and me. And as what I see, I have convinced him
that I love you! Because I talked nothing but about you!”

Bumuka ang labi niya pero natigilan siya sa sinabi nito. “I doubt so,” sagot niya pero bumaba na ang tinig lalo pa’t
namumula na ang ilong ng dalaga. He didn’t want her to cry. That, he couldn’t bear.

“We’ll then, we’re gonna have to prove that to him,” galit na sabi nito.

 

“Prove what?”
Bigla’y nakarinig sila nang ugong ng sasakyan.

 

“That what we have is real,” anito.

Nabigla siya nang bigla nitong ginulo ang buhok at binuksan ang butones ng blusang suot.

“Hurry, get off your shirt!” anitong pinandilatan siya.

Pero natulala siya sa ginawi nito. Cindy looked so tempting. Biglang sumikip ang pantalong suot niya. Bigla siya nitong
itinulak sa sofa at hinubad ang polo-shirt na suot niya.

 

“Let’s see if Walter won’t be convinced after this,” anito’t pinahid nito ang lipstick mula sa labi papunta sa leeg at sa
mukha niya.

 

“Cindy…” sambit niya nang bigla itong umupo sa kandungan niya. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” aniya at akmang tatayo
pero pinigilan siya nito.

 

“Relax, this will work out just fine,” anito. “Just remind me later na kukutusan kita dahil sa kalokohang ito, okay? Just let me
do the kissing.”

 

He felt the rush of heat. And he is not fine. He is sure once she started kissing him, he will never be able to stop himself
from making love with her.

 

Frdp
“I write for a cause… and that cause is LOVE.”